Y2K Transcripts

Season 1

For season 1 transcripts, please go HERE.

Season 2

Transcripts and PDFs will become available as episodes release.

Episode 1: Kirsten – Age 21 – Gothenburg – January 1976
Episode 2: Maia – Age 25 – Kuala Lumpur – February 1995
Episode 3: Johnno – Age 32 – London – March 2002
Episode 4: Emma – Age 35 – Cardiff – April 2012
Episode 5: Katarina – Age 35 – Boston – May 2011
Episode 6: Rachel – Age 32 – Trollhättan – June 2003
Episode 7: Tammi – Age 19 – Paris – July 2018
Episode 8: Claire – Age 34 – Edinburgh – August 2006
Episode 9: Shirin – Age 27 – New York – September 2001
Episode 10: Bri – Age 29 – Auckland – October 2008
Episode 11: Jess – Age 45 – Delgany – November 2019
Episode 12: Olivia – Age 21 – Birmingham – December 2021

Episode 1: Kirsten – Age 21 – Gothenburg – January 1976

Scene 1.0

DIRECTOR

Places, please. We’ll try again everyone. Right. Whenever you’re ready – Take 2.

(MUSIC “Welcome to the Year 2000”)

NARRATOR

Episode 1. Welcome to the year 1976. January. Gothenburg, Sweden. Kirsten is 21 years old.

Scene 1.1

(INT. bar, 1970s lounge music, crowd speaking Swedish. KIRSTEN and MANIKA are drinking wine. Both are slightly drunk, and in the middle of a friendly argument.)

KIRSTEN

-but Manika, we cannot accept the way women are still ignored for promotions and kept out of board rooms all while being paid much less than their male peers! The workplace is not equal, it is better than it was but there is still such a long way to go.

MANIKA

I agree, Kirsten! But I don’t see how quotas are the way to go – how are women ever to be taken seriously if we have not earned our positions?

KIRSTEN

But we are not given a chance to earn our positions – don’t you see? It’s as though men are on quota now, and have been for hundreds, maybe thousands of years! Quotas are a way of evening things out so that we *can* earn our positions. Do you want our daughters, our daughters’ daughters to have to deal with this shit?

MANIKA

No, of course not. I just wouldn’t feel comfortable knowing I was quota:d into a position, that’s all. (lights cigarette, smokes)

KIRSTEN

(sobers slightly) That’s fair. I’m not sure I would either. But I believe in the principle. (sips wine) Maybe we should all go on strike like the women in Iceland?

MANIKA

(laughs) Maybe! Though not sure students striking for one day would accomplish anything. We’d only have to catch up on everything afterwards. (smokes)

KIRSTEN

(sighs) Yeah. And all the boys in our year would get ahead. As usual.

MANIKA

Yeah, we’d be the only two on strike… Ugh.

KIRSTEN

Did you get the “mekanik-tenta” back yet?

MANIKA

Yeah. (smokes) Barely scraped by. You?

KIRSTEN

Same. At least we passed! More wine to celebrate?

MANIKA

Absolutely!

(BOTH get up from high metal bar stools, MANIKA takes a final puff and puts out cigarette)

KIRSTEN

Oh! I need to pee, sorry! You wanna get the wine?

MANIKA

Sure. Red?

KIRSTEN

Yes please.

MANIKA

On it.

(Footsteps in two directions. We follow KIRSTEN. Music gets more distant.)

KIRSTEN

(hums ‘Una Paloma Blanca’ as she walks, bumps in to someone) Oh, sorry!

INGA-LISA

(casual, in Swedish) Ursäkta, förlåt!

KIRSTEN

(in Danish) Undskyld- (suddenly feels dizzy) Whoa.(staggers a little)

INGA-LISA

(concerned, in Swedish) Är allt OK? Ska jag- OJ! (catches KIRSTEN) Du ska nog sitta ner. (helps KIRSTEN to bench)

KIRSTEN

(dazed, in Danish) Whoa. Tack. Jag vet inte vad som hände.

INGA-LISA

(in Swedish) Ska jag hämta nån?

KIRSTEN

(feeling better, in Danish) Nej, det är OK. Bättre nu. (smiles) Tack.

INGA-LISA

(smiles, in Swedish) Säkert?

KIRSTEN

(stands up, in Danish) Ja. Tusind tack.

INGA-LISA

(in Swedish) OK. Ta det lugnt.

KIRSTEN

(smiles, in Danish) I lige måde. (starts walking. Mutters to herself) What *was* that. I’m not that drunk.

(opens door to bathroom with several cubicles. Slight echo and music further distanced. KIRSTEN stops by the mirror.)

KIRSTEN

(hums ‘Una Paloma Blanca’ again, turns on tap, splashes water on face, suddenly dizzy again, in Danish) Whoa. Va fan? (suddenly realizes she could be pregnant) Vänta… Idag är den tredje, när… December… Nej, November! Två… tre… fyra…(in shock) HELVETE! (slaps hand on wall) Aj! (rapid breathing, slides down and sits on floor, breathing quiets)

(door opens, MANIKA enters)

MANIKA

Kirsten? (sees KIRSTEN, quick footsteps, bends down, worried) What happened? Are you OK?

KIRSTEN

I’m… (can’t get the words out)

MANIKA

(sits on floor beside KIRSTEN, really scared now) Darling, come here, did someone hurt you?

KIRSTEN

No. I’m… Oh Manika I think I… I might be… pregnant.

MANIKA

(disbelieving sound) Really? (a little relieved) I though you’d been hit or something.

KIRSTEN

Feels like I’ve been hit by something.

MANIKA

Of course you do. But… who?

KIRSTEN

Bengt. In December, before he left for Afghanistan.

MANIKA

Oh. Guess I didn’t realize…

KIRSTEN

It was nothing special. You know.

MANIKA

(gently) I know. So… what are you going to do?

KIRSTEN

(quietly) I don’t know.

MANIKA

OK. (beat) You don’t have to know right now. And it could still be a false alarm.

KIRSTEN

Yeah. It could. Have to see a doctor, I suppose.

MANIKA

You do. First thing Monday.

KIRSTEN

Yeah. (beat, small voice) I’m scared.

(Fade out)

Scene 1.2

(INT. small student room, carpeted floor, daytime, MANIKA is typing a paper on a typewriter, knock on door.)

MANIKA

Yes?

KIRSTEN

It’s Kirsten. Can I come in?

MANIKA

Of course!

(door opens, KIRSTEN comes in)

KIRSTEN

You busy?

MANIKA

It’s fine, it’s just the thermodynamics assignment, it’s not due ‘til Friday.

KIRSTEN

(sits down on bed) Ugh. I haven’t even started mine. Other things on my mind…

MANIKA

Of course. How did it go?

KIRSTEN

All right.

MANIKA

So you *are* pregnant.

KIRSTEN

Yes. As far as she could tell. It’s never completely certain, apparently.

MANIKA

All right.

KIRSTEN

She brought up abortion.

MANIKA

Yeah. How do you feel about that?

KIRSTEN

Remember how happy we were last year when it became legal?

MANIKA

Yeah.

KIRSTEN

I’m really glad it’s an option now. But I’m not a teenager anymore. I need to think this through.

MANIKA

When do you need to decide?

KIRSTEN

Within the next six weeks or so. But sooner is better, she said.

MANIKA

(trying to stay neutral) Big decision.

KIRSTEN

Oh yeah. (pause)

MANIKA

What about your education?

KIRSTEN

I don’t know. I’d need to skip a term, maybe? Or two?

MANIKA

You’ve always been so ambitious.

KIRSTEN

I know. I still am. But I don’t want to make this decision lightly.

MANIKA

I get that. But… this will change… well, a lot of things.

KIRSTEN

Yes. And no. I mean, of course it will, but also… I’ve met many mothers in the Forum, and they seem to manage fine.

MANIKA

Of course. (beat) You still scared?

KIRSTEN

(emotional) Oh yeah. But not… I think if I decide to do this, I think… I will be OK.

MANIKA

Oh I’m sure you will but… (gently) I’m worried you’ll get stuck.

KIRSTEN

(surprised) Stuck how?

MANIKA

Stuck in… being a mum I suppose. That you’ll- that you won’t finish your degree, won’t be an engineer, won’t do all the things-

KIRSTEN

(interrupts, passionate) But of course I will! That’s the whole point! Women today – we can do everything, *have* everything. I can have this baby *and* a career.

MANIKA

Don’t you worry that you’ll-

KIRSTEN

(interrupts) That I’ll what?

MANIKA

That you’ll change your mind? That if you have a baby your priorities will change, *you* will change?

KIRSTEN

I… No. (hesitantly) I don’t.

MANIKA

(Grabs pack of cigarettes, gets one out, lights it, smokes) I’ve told you about my sister Parvani, right?

KIRSTEN

(distracted) Yeah, lives in Bristol. Married… Three kids, right?

MANIKA

Yeah. She used to be… She used to talk about her dreams and her goals all the time. I’m four years younger and I looked up to her so much. She inspired me, you know? I was this awkward teenager, good at maths but not much else, and she was great at… everything. (smokes) Brilliant at languages, social sciences, sports… Always had loads of friends. She talked about being a diplomat, maybe, or a lawyer. Used to tell me all about which schools she wanted to apply to, she planned to study in the US maybe, or try for Oxford or Cambridge… I think she could have had a chance at getting in, too. (smokes) But then she met Sanjay, and fell in love, and they got married when she was 19, and… She stopped talking about… It’s like there wasn’t room for *her* dreams anymore, it was all about the kids, or Sanjay, or the family… (sad) Parvani’s still encouraging when I talk about my ambitions, but it’s like she’s forgotten her own, you know? (smokes)

KIRSTEN

(taken aback) Oh. Yeah, that… Don’t want that to happen.

MANIKA

(smiles) Me neither. So keep that in mind, yeah? (smokes)

KIRSTEN

All right. I will.

MANIKA

(puts out cigarette) I look up to you too, you know.

KIRSTEN

(surprised) To me? (beat) Why?

MANIKA

You are always so… So strong and calm. Certain. All the guys in our year, whenever they try to explain things you already know, or confuse you with tech terms in Swedish, or treat you like ‘just’ a girl, you simply refuse to let them. You so clearly *belong* wherever you go, whatever you do. You make it look easy. Like that time when we were first-years and Lars-Åke slapped your butt. You just calmly *looked* at him and asked him why he did that. You didn’t say anything else, but it was as if the whole lecture hall just held its breath, and his face got redder and redder. And then he apologized.

KIRSTEN

(small laugh) He did. And never tried it again. We’re friends now. (beat) Thank you. I’m… Not always that calm on the inside, you know.

MANIKA

I know.

KIRSTEN

(worried smile) Especially not now.

MANIKA

Yeah. But you have time to think about it. What are you most worried about?

KIRSTEN

I… (pause) I was going to say something about being a single mother, but, you know, that part would probably be OK.

MANIKA

Will you try to contact Bengt?

KIRSTEN

I’ll try, but… He’ll be away until late summer, I think. Don’t really know how to get hold of him in Afghanistan.

MANIKA

No address or anything?

KIRSTEN

Nope. We weren’t- It wasn’t that kind of thing. I’ll talk to him when he gets home, I suppose.

MANIKA

That’s fair. So what *are* you worried about?

KIRSTEN

Practical things, mostly. Like, where would I live? Can’t stay in student housing with a baby!

MANIKA

No, that really wouldn’t work. Against the rules for one thing, and babies aren’t exactly sneaky and quiet.

KIRSTEN

(laugh-snort) Definitely not. And, how would I support us? Can I get paid maternity leave as a student?

MANIKA

I don’t know. Think it’s six months if you’re employed, but, who knows?

KIRSTEN

Yeah. Lots of things to figure out.

MANIKA

Anything else on the worry list?

KIRSTEN

Well… *If* I end up keeping the baby. Am not exactly looking forward to telling my parents.

MANIKA

Will they be angry?

KIRSTEN

Maybe. They’re quite old, and I’m an only child. They’ve always been quite… strict in their ways.

MANIKA

You think they’ll disapprove?

KIRSTEN

Probably. They grew up in the 20s and 30s. It was a very different time.

MANIKA

I can imagine. But if you decide to stay pregnant, you are going to have to tell them at some point. You’re going home to Aalborg this summer, right?

KIRSTEN

I am. If I’m pregnant at that point I’ll be *very* pregnant…

MANIKA

(gently) You will figure it out. And whatever you decide, I’ll help as much as I can.

KIRSTEN

Thank you. (stands up) I’d better get started on that thermodynamics thing.

MANIKA

All right. I’ll get back to work on mine. Dinner at seven?

KIRSTEN

Absolutely. (footsteps, door opens, typewriter starts up again.)

(Fade out)

Scene 1.3

(INT café, afternoon, moderately busy, Swedish voices in background. KIRSTEN and MANIKA are having coffee)

MANIKA

You are sure this is the right thing for you?

KIRSTEN

(smiles) Yes. I feel so much happier now that I’ve made up my mind. (sips coffee)

MANIKA

Good. I’m glad. So… have you told your parents yet?

KIRSTEN

No… Still dreading that part. (sighs) But they’re going to be grandparents, I’ll have to tell them sometime.

MANIKA

Maybe once you have a new place? (sips coffee)

KIRSTEN

Yeah. (beat) Yeah… Speaking of that, tell me about this friend of yours we’re meeting.

MANIKA

(grabs pack of cigarettes) More like friend of a friend. Dagur.(lights cigarette, breathes out smoke) I put the word out you were looking for somewhere, and Anna-Lisa knows him. He runs a ‘kollektiv’ in Haga somewhere, and they have a room open. He’s from Iceland. Artist, I think. I’ve only met him once. (smokes)

KIRSTEN

And he’s meeting us here? (sips coffee)

MANIKA

Yes. (beat) He said he’d meet us at three, so he’s a bit late. I’m sure he’ll be here soon.

(during previous, light bell sound as café front door opens, footsteps, DAGUR approaches)

DAGUR

(energetic, rushed, calls) Manika! Manika! Manika! (DAGUR kisses both MANIKA’s cheeks) So sorry I’m late, I mixed it all up completely (takes off jacket) you said Flygarns Haga on the phone and that’s what I wrote down but as I was heading out today today I was completely sure it was Smålands nation. So whenI got to Smålands at three and they were closed, of course, ‘cause it’s afternoon, and I was like “Why would she want to meet here, it’s closed!” and then I looked around for a phone box but as I was searching in my pocket for change (slight jingle of coins in pocket) I found the note and it of course said Flygarns so I walked as fast as I could and here I am! Brain spaz! (wide smile, quickly dumps bag and heavy jacket on chair) I’m getting a coffee, you want anything? (leaves before getting a response, footsteps)

DAGUR

(distant) (falsely confident in Swedish) Hej. Kaffe, tack?

WAITRESS

(distant, in Swedish) En kaffe… Vill du ha något annat?

DAGUR

(distant) Eh, sorry, excuse me?

WAITRESS

(distant) Anything else?

DAGUR

(distant) No, that’s all right. Sorry, still working on my Swedish! (laughs)

WAITRESS

(distant)(smiles) That’s all right. (pours coffee) Where are you from?

DAGUR

(distant) Iceland. The land of ice and fire. (smiles) And, you know, independent women.

WAITRESS

(distant) Oh yes, the women’s strike!

DAGUR

(distant) (smiles) That’s right. Good for them!

WAITRESS

(distant) Yes. Here’s your coffee. (places cup in saucer on counter)

KIRSTEN

Eh, so that must be-

MANIKA

DAGUR, yes. (smokes)

KIRSTEN

He’s…

MANIKA

(smiles) A lot. Heart’s in the right place though.

KIRSTEN

(a little dubious) Well, that’s the main thing I suppose.

DAGUR

(distant)(casual flirting) You could go on strike right now, you know – wanna take a walk with me?

WAITRESS

(distant)(smiles) Maybe another time. Looks like your friends are waiting.

DAGUR

(distant) Oh! Right, right, yeah. Catch you later!

(footsteps as DAGUR returns, sets coffee cup and saucer on table)

DAGUR

(to KIRSTEN) I’m so sorry! You must be Kirsten! (DAGUR bends down to kiss both cheeks, KIRSTEN makes confused laugh , DAGUR sits down while talking) Wonderful to meet you! Danish, eh? (falsely confident in Danish) Hvordan går det? (laughs) I love København! Tivoli, Kongens Have, such great beer! (chuckles) Oh the stories I could tell! A few years ago me and my friend Brynjar- No. That’s not why you’re here. Shame, it’s a great story! Maybe I’ll tell you later, eh? Now. Let me tell you about our place instead! Manika says you need somewhere to stay?

KIRSTEN

Yes. I do. But-

DAGUR

(warmly) There is room for you with us! You know that saying? (hesitates, tries to remember) Where there’s room in the heart, there is room for the butt! (laughs)

(MANIKA laughs, smokes, puts out cigarette)

KIRSTEN

(slightly confused laugh) Um, no, never heard that. But it-

DAGUR

You should, it’s Swedish! (thinks) Or is it German? Could be Dutch, maybe? One of those! (slight laugh)

KIRSTEN

OK. But it’s not just me, you see, its’-

DAGUR

Ah, you have a boyfriend? Girlfriend? Both? They can come, too!

KIRSTEN

No-

DAGUR

(so enthusiastic he doesn’t stop to listen) We have a big crib in Haga – Skolgatan – it’s on a demolition contract – is that how you say it? (attempts Swedish) Rivningskontrakt? Ah, you know what I mean! They want to tear it down, we want to keep living there. No demolition date set yet, so we should be fine for another few years. So far, so great, eh? Now there are eight of us, we share cooking and the household stuff, and we have a room available from the 25th – Anita is moving to Malmö, sadly, she’s a great artist, but she’s got a hotel job or something down there. It’s a pretty big room, before Anita we had a couple living there, and they certainly didn’t complain! (laughs) We don’t have many rules, we all just try to help out as best we can, it’s all a big friendly, relaxed group. Trying to be like a family, really. From each according to means, to each according to needs, that sort of thing, you know?

KIRSTEN

(finally gets a word in) Yes. That all sounds really good. But you see, I’m pregnant-

DAGUR

(joyful) Oh that is wonderful, congratulations! Ah, it would be so nice to have a baby in the house again! Inga-Lisa’s girl is a toddler now, very curious, wobbles around everywhere. Toddles around? (smiles) Both really! But there is something so soothing about tiny little babies, you know? Unless they’re screaming, but we can handle that too!

KIRSTEN

(very relieved) Are you sure? Won’t a baby disturb everyone?

DAGUR

Ah, we’re used to it. It’ll be fine. What is the baby’s birthday?

(MANIKA laughs slightly)

KIRSTEN

(laughs) September 1st, according to the doctor. If all goes well.

DAGUR

Oh, it will. I am sure. So what do you say. Want to join us?

KIRSTEN

I- I would. I think. Can I come visit?

DAGUR

Of course! How about this Friday? You can have dinner with us! I’m cooking, so dinner won’t be very good, but you can meet everyone, and see the room. Tell you what, come by at five and I can show you around before dinner. Sound good?

KIRSTEN

That sounds perfect. Thank you.

DAGUR

Don’t thank me, thank Manika! It’s all her doing.

MANIKA

I’m really glad this seems to be working out.

KIRSTEN

Me too. Thank you both so much.

DAGUR

Now, let me tell you all about that time I was locked into Kongens Have overnight-

(Fade out)

Scene 1.4

(INT. cluttered apartment with high ceilings and wood floors, KIRSTEN and DAGUR are walking around, opens door)

DAGUR

So through here is the kitchen, Inga-Lisa’s dyeing batik – say hello!

INGA-LISA

(distracted, wipes hands on towel, friendly) Hello! Nice to- Hm ! Haven’t we met somewhere?

KIRSTEN

Hello! Maybe, I think I recognize-

DAGUR

You know each other? That’s w onderful!

INGA-LISA

Not precisely… But I am sure we have met. I’m Inga-Lisa.

KIRSTEN

Kirsten. (realizes) At the bar – a few weeks ago – I fainted?

INGA-LISA

(in Swedish) Ja just det! (to DAGUR) Sorry Dagur! (to Kirsten) You all right now? I was a little bit worried about you.

KIRSTEN

Yes. I… Turns out I was pregnant.

INGA-LISA

Oh I had terrible dizzy spells when I was pregnant with Maria. (warmly) So we might have a baby in the house again? Oh, that would be just lovely.

KIRSTEN

(touched) You are all so kind.

DAGUR

I told, you, right? All a big family!

INGA-LISA

We are! (sound of pot boiling over, in Swedish) Helvete! Sorry, have to deal with this- (pot moved, stove knob turned, in Swedish) Aj!

DAGUR

Need help?

INGA-LISA

No, just have to- (sloshing of water)

DAGUR

Better give her some space. (starts walking)

INGA-LISA

(calls) Nice to meet you Kirsten!

KIRSTEN

(as they are walking away, calls) Nice to meet you too!

DAGUR

And here is the- (exclamation, almost stumbles over cat, cat meows) Oh, meet the cat. It’s her house, really, we’re all just lodgers.

KIRSTEN

(happy) Aw. Hi cat-

DAGUR

You like cats? (does not wait for response) I personally don’t, but she doesn’t really seem to care. Parks herself on my lap every night after dinner. She probably thinks I’m her sofa. (laughs) And here- (door opens quickly, exclaims) Oh! Careful with that door! This is Gunnar, he’s- (sound of rushed footsteps, surprised) off somewhere, apparently. O-kay. He’s probably late for his evening pottery class. Gunnar’s my partner, well one of my partners, he’s very nice when he’s not stressed, I promise. You’ll meet him later, I’m sure. And there’s the telephone if you need to make calls, see, there’s a little notebook beside it so we can all keep a log to split the bill. (stops, KIRSTEN also stops) And now, this, (opens door) this will be your room. What do you think?

KIRSTEN

(a few steps into room, beat) Yeah, this is… this is really nice. It’s big! (smiles, a little misty-eyed) I think I could live here.

DAGUR

Wonderful! I should go make dinner – you want to explore the rest of the crib om your own?

KIRSTEN

All right. Oh! Can I use the phone? I need to make a call. Home. To Denmark. I’ll log it, I promise.

DAGUR

Of course! Please make yourself at home. Welcome!

(DAGUR walks away)

KIRSTEN

(calls) Thank you so much.

DAGUR

(calls from distance, falsely confident in Danish) Det var så lidt!

KIRSTEN

(laughs a little, then lets out breath, lets down shoulders, mutters, relieved) Huh. (beat) All right. Here I go. Calling the parents. (footsteps to corridor outside room, sits down by phone, lifts receiver, calls 12 numbers on rotary dialer, the first is 0045, waits a little, in Danish) Mor! Det är Kirsten. Jag- Ja. Allt er godt. Du, jeg har noet jeg ska fortelle deg-

(Fade out)

Scene 1.5

NARRATOR

Thank you for listening to Y2K: Take 2. This episode was written, produced and directed by Karin Heimdahl. Our intro and outro music is created and recorded by Jake Haws, listen to his podcast “Making Music with Jake Haws” to hear more. This episode featured Charlotte Norup as Kirsten, Sravya Kidambi as Manika, Eyþór Viðarsson as Dagur, Sabina Renck as Inga-Lisa and Silja Lamhauge as the waitress. The drama school director was Sarah Golding, and the narrator Emma Laslett. For more information, please go to Y2Kpod.com or find us on social media @Y2Kpod If you enjoy the show, please consider supporting us on Patreon.com/Y2Kpod Please join us again next month when we meet Maia in 1995.

DIRECTOR

(claps hands) All right, thank you everyone. That’s a wrap for today!

(MUSIC “Welcome to the Year 2000” – instrumental)

Episode 2: Maia – age 25 – Kuala Lumpur – February 1995

Scene 2.0

DIRECTOR

Places, please. We’ll try again everyone. Right. Whenever you’re ready – Take 2.

(MUSIC “Welcome to the Year 2000”)

NARRATOR

Episode 2. Welcome to the year 1995. February. Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Maia is 25 years old.

Scene 2.1

(INT. Art museum Kuala Lumpur, footsteps of MAIA and ANNISA echo on stone floor and voices approach.)

ANNISA

-last item in our Yong Mun Sen collection, we are very proud of this piece in particular. (beat) And over here is our Datuk Lat exhibit, which we have even had some international attention around. (BOTH stop) And that concludes the tour. Do you have any questions?

MAIA

(a little overwhelmed) It’s… it’s incredible. So much…

ANNISA

(pleased) I’m glad you think so. So you won’t be bored, staying here for a month, then?

MAIA

(slight laugh) Definitely not! So much to learn.

ANNISA

We’ve had quite a few students here over the years, I hope we will be able to facilitate your thesis project.

MAIA

I’m sure you will. (beat) Sorry, Annisa, guess I’m still a little dazed from the flight.

ANNISA

Of course. I’ll let you find your hostel and unpack. Come in tomorrow at 9 to meet the rest of the staff, and to get settled in. We usually all have lunch together on Thursdays, you’d be very welcome to join.

MAIA

Sure, thanks. (sight laugh) It’s not like I know anyone here, so I have absolutely zero plans. (smiles)

ANNISA

(slight laugh) Of course. If you like, you’d be most welcome to join us for dinner this Saturday?

MAIA

Thank you, I’d like that.

ANNISA

My sister and I live in Brickfields, if you go by bus it’s about half an hour – maybe forty minutes – from your hostel.

MAIA

Great – that gives me a chance to see the city.

ANNISA

We eat mostly vegetarian and some fish – is that OK for you? I could always order-

MAIA

No, no that’s great, I love vegetarian food. Thank you.

ANNISA

Perfect. Now, if you just come with me, Maia- (BOTH start walking away in opposite direction from where they came) you can pick up your things here, and we’ll get you…

(Fade out)

Scene 2:2

(INT. Apartment building hallway, MAIA’s footsteps. Rings doorbell. Footsteps in socks from inside apartment, door opens.)

ANNISA

Maia, welcome! Come in!

MAIA

(2-3 footsteps) Thank you. Sorry I’m so early, I wanted to make sure I wasn’t late.

ANNISA

No trouble at all, you are very welcome.

MAIA

(Sound of gift basket being handed over) For you, um, I didn’t know-

ANNISA

Oh wonderful, thank you!

MAIA

I’s just some Auckland delicacies. My mom reminded me to bring something, I would probably have forgotten.

ANNISA

That is lovely, and so thoughtful. (beat, clears throat) Could you please-?

MAIA

Oh! Sorry! Shoes. (takes off shoes and places by door) Not used to this yet.

ANNISA

No, Malaysia’s very different from the US I suppose.

MAIA

It is – though I live in New Zealand. Most don’t wear shoes indoors there either, but my family does.

ANNISA

Oh! I thought you were African American?

MAIA

I am! But we’ve lived in Auckland since I was 15.

ANNISA

Of course! (small embarrassed laugh) Sorry!Your accent confused me.

MAIA

(smiles) No worries, happens all the time.

ANNISA

Well, if you come through here… (footsteps from BOTH)

MAIA

(polite) You have a beautiful home.

ANNISA

(polite) Thank you. (sets down gift basket on kitchen counter, much more casual, off in other direction) Tee, our guest is here.

TIA

(calls from other room, preoccupied and a little annoyed) Coming!

ANNISA

(ignores TIA’s tone) My sister will join us soon. Would you like some cordial?

MAIA

Yes please.

ANNISA

(takes out pitcher from fridge, takes out glasses from cupboard, pours two glasses during following) It’s rose flavor, is that all right?

MAIA

Yes, perfect, thank you.

ANNSIA

Are you satisfied with your lodgings?

MAIA

(polite) Yes, my room’s great.

ANNISA

There are always new things to get used to when you travel. (hands over glass)

MAIA

Absolutely. (sip of drink, polite) So have you lived here long?

ANNISA

(beat) Almost two years by now. (sips, calls) Tee, you want some sirap?

TIA

(finishing up something, annoyed at the disturbance, calls from other room) No- Yes- In a minute, just let me finish this!

ANNISA

(calls, annoyed but trying to hide it) All right! (to MAIA) Please, sit down. (BOTH sit at, glasses clink on table, polite) We moved here from Kluang six years ago. I got a job at the museum, and my sister is a medical student. Our parents were worried, two girls living alone in the big city, but we’ve been fine. (sips)

MAIA

Is it far from (hesitates) Kluang- Kluong? I mean, are you far away from your family? (sips)

 ANNISA

Quite far. It’s about three hours by road – with traffic, easily four – so we don’t visit very often. How about you? Does your family live close by?

MAIA

They do – I’m lucky I guess. Or, my parents live in Auckland, but my grandparents and the rest of the family are in Ohio, so that’s really far away of course.

ANNISA

So do you visit often?

MAIA

When I can. We used to go once a year but now it’s more seldom. It’s quite a long way to travel!

ANNSIA

Of course. Do you live with your family?

MAIA

No, I live on my own. (doesn’t know what to say) I’m single, so it’s just me.

ANNISA

I’m single too. I like my independence.

MAIA

Yeah. Me too I suppose.

ANNISA

(not really listening) That’s nice. (calls) Tee?

TIA

(still finishing task, really annoyed now) I’m coming!

ANNISA

(to MAIA, polite) Sorry, would you excuse me?

MAIA

Of course. (sips cordial)

(ANNISA’s walks to other room, following conversation is muffled but audible)

ANNISA

(through gritted teeth, in Manglish) Eh, Hello? Tee ah. You’re being super rude to our guest.

TIA

(in Manglish) She was early. I have things to do!

ANNISA

(in Manglish) She is our guestlah, hello also you haven’t even said.

TIA

(sullenly, in Manglish) Fine. I will say hello. But after I need to come back and finish this lab report. Almost finish already.

ANNISA

(lets out breath, in Manglish) Thanks ok.

(Footsteps ANNISA and TIA)

TIA

(polite) Hello, I’m Tia.

MAIA

(gets up, a little awkward) Hello! Maia. That’s me. Yes. Sorry I was so early.

TIA

Nice to meet you. Now-

MAIA

(almost at same time) Nice to meet you- sorry.

TIA

I have to finish up a lab report.

MAIA

Of course. Sorry again.

TIA

It’s all right. See you soon.

(TIA leaves, footsteps, door closes firmly.)

ANNISA

Sorry about that. She’s stressed, heavy courseload. Please, sit.

(BOTH sit down, ANNISA sips drink)

MAIA

I can imagine. Studying medicine must be… can’t even imagine how tough it must be. (smiles)

ANNISA

Yes. She doesn’t mean to be rude, she just… she’s focused. Very good at getting things done, not always great at social niceties.

MAIA

Yeah. (sips) That makes sense. Good thing we’re all different, right?

ANNISA

(smiles, relaxes) True. (sips drink) So what did you think about the Ghani installation? I thought it could tie in with your thesis, with those big sweeping lines and the use of metal…

(Fade out)

Scene 2.3

(INT. Tia’s and Annisa’s apartment, later the same evening, after dinner. Soft background music? MAIA, TIA and ANNISA are all more relaxed.)

ANNISA

(laughing) -so then they said “All we wanted was some lemons!”

(MAIA and TIA laugh)

MAIA

Did they get their lemons in the end?

ANNISA

I don’t know, actually. (smiles) Never found out. (deep breath) I’d better clear the table. (gets up, MAIA and TIA both make attempts at getting up) No, no, you two sit.

MAIA

You sure?

ANNSIA

Small kitchen, only really room for one.

(Plates, glasses and serving dishes being cleared during following)

TIA

All right. Thanks Anni.

ANNISA

You need some downtime, Tee, you’ve been working very hard.

TIA

(affectionately) So have you.

ANNISA

(smiles) Well, this time it’s your turn to sit. (picks up plates, footsteps, faint sounds of water splashing as ANNISA washes dishes by hand, silence as both MAIA and TIA search for something to say.)

TIA (same time as MAIA)

So how did-

MAIA (same time as TIA)

So how is living with-

(BOTH laugh uncomfortably)

TIA

You first.

MAIA

No, you.

TIA

All right. (polite) How did you end up doing your thesis here?

MAIA

(sheepish) It… just happened, really. I’d love to say it’s because I was passionately interested in Malaysian art – and I am, now! – but I just wanted to do something different, so I applied for a scholarship, and this was one of the options. I’ve never been to Malaysia before.

TIA

So what do you think?

MAIA

(smiles) Well, I’ve mostly seen the airport and the museum so far, but everyone’s been really nice.

TIA

(gets interested and stops being polite) Nice? I’m sure they have. But, I mean… What do you really think? What is different, what is interesting, what is… I don’t know, disgusting and smelly and foreign and weird?

MAIA

(taken aback) I…

TIA

(intense) Don’t be polite. Come on.

MAIA

(smiles) The fabrics.

TIA

What about the fabrics?

MAIA

They’re so beautiful. The colors. The sheen. The batik patterns. Mostly the colors.

TIA

On clothes?

MAIA

Clothes sometimes but wall hangings and parasols and tablecloths and lanterns and… there’s just so much more fabric everywhere than I’m used to. So vibrant and tactile.

TIA

Huh. Never thought of that. You interested in fabric?

MAIA

Yes! A lot of my own art is textile.

TIA

Like what?

MAIA

Lately I’ve been really into exploring textile sculpture – making fabric sculptural without any wire or other support structure, it’s a challenge!

TIA

I can imagine. What else has struck you as different here?

MAIA

The crowds. Auckland is a big city, and of course it’s crowded. But… it never seems this crowded. (a little overwhelmed) On the way here… there were just people, everywhere.

TIA

Stressful?

MAIA

N- I mean, yeah. (relaxes shoulders, lets out breath) Stressful. Absolutely.

TIA

I think so too, and I’m used to it. Every day, going to and from university. And how about the traffic?

MAIA

(smiles) Well let’s just say I am very glad I do not have to drive here.

TIA

(smiles) Kuala Lumpur is famous for bad traffic. C’mon, what else?

MAIA

The food! There are just so *many* food smells everywhere, and they’re so strong, and they smell so interesting, and then when they all mix, sometimes… they smell not good… not good.

TIA

(laughs) There we go. Smells bad, right?

MAIA

Well I just…

TIA

You can say it!

MAIA

(smiles) Yup. Sometimes it does.

TIA

Yes! You re-

MAIA

But usually it smells delicious! It’s mainly when Durian’s involved that-

TIA

(exaggerated disappointed sound) You really are just…

MAIA

What?

TIA

(smiles) Annoyingly nice.

MAIA

(smiles) Really?

TIA

(smiles) Yes, really.

MAIA

(smiles) Hm. (breathes in as if to speak and then changes her mind. Smiles.) So… food.

TIA

(beat) Yes. What about food?

MAIA

You eat it, right?

TIA

(amused) I do. Also cook it, quite a lot.

MAIA

Even better.

TIA

Why?

MAIA

You like cooking?

TIA

Yes.

MAIA

(slightly nervous) You wanna teach me to make- (hesitates while trying to think of typical Malaysian food)

TIA

Nasi lemak? Absolutely.

MAIA

(the widest of smiles) You would?

TIA

(smiles) I would. How about Thursday night?

MAIA

I have absolutely no plans.

TIA

Perfect. Be here at seven?

MAIA

Wonderful. Though I might be early again.

TIA

(laughs) I will expect that this time!

(during previous, dishwashing sounds end in kitchen, footsteps, ANNISA enters)

ANNISA

So, how are you two getting on?

TIA

Very well.

ANNISA

(sits down) Oh good! You really weren’t very friendly earlier Tee.

TIA

Sorry about that.

MAIA

It’s fine. You were busy and I was early.

TIA

No, Anni’s right. I was rude. I didn’t mean to be. Sometimes… Sometimes I get so into what I am doing that I don’t really care about anything else.

ANNISA

(friendly teasing) Sometimes?

TIA

(laughs) All right, a lot of the time.

MAIA

(laughs) I get that way too. My friends at uni are always joking they can’t get a word out of me once I’ve started focusing on a project.

TIA

I can definitely relate! So, Anni, Maia’s coming over again on Thursday.

ANNISA

(surprised but pleased) Oh, how nice.

MAIA

Tia’s teaching me how to make Nasi- (hesitates)

TIA

Lemak! Maia’s into cooking.

ANNISA

Wonderful. I think I have a dinner engagement on Thursday, will you be all right without me? (grabs paper calendar, pages rustling)

TIA

Absolutely. We don’t need you.

ANNISA

Rude!

TIA

(smiles) That’s me!

ANNISA

(laughs, closes calendar) Well, seems I *am* busy Thursday night, so have fun without me!

TIA

Don’t worry, we will, Right Maia?

MAIA

For sure.

(Fade out)

Scene 2.4

(INT. Early evening. Apartment building hallway, MAIA walks up and rings doorbell. No response.)

MAIA

(calls) Tia? You there? (to herself) Well I *am* early again… (knocks on door, no response, to herself) Suppose I’ll wait. (pause)

(hurried footsteps, TIA approaches with bags of groceries)

TIA

(rushed) Oh, I’m so sorry, the lines at Jusco where so long today! (fishes out keys from purse, opens door) Come in, please!

MAIA

(smiles) No worries. I only had to wait a few minutes. And I was early again.

(BOTH take off shoes, go inside, TIA closes door, all during following.)

TIA

(rushed) I know, but I said I would expect that! Sorry! I usually enjoy grocery shopping but today I had a lecture running late and had to rush through it – but think I got everything. Come in, to the kitchen!

(BOTH head to kitchen, TIA starts unpacking groceries, some go on counter, some in cupboards or fridge, all during following)

MAIA

What can I do?

TIA

Have a seat for now. Don’t worry, I’ll put you to work in a minute.

MAIA

(sits down on kitchen chair) Counting on it.

TIA

(pauses her unpacking) You want a soft drink?

MAIA

Yes please.

TIA

(hands MAIA soft drink can, continues unpacking) Here you go.

MAIA

Thanks. (opens soft drink and sips)

TIA

(starts setting out mortar and pestle, pans, finishes half-way through MAIA’s next line) So what have you been doing your first week?

MAIA

Well, I’ve been to the National Museum and they gave me access to their textile archives, so I’ve spent a lot of time there researching. Also I’ve been to the Petronas Gallery and the Asian Arts Museum – there is so much to learn! And I’ve been helping set up the new Germaine Koh exhibit with Annisa – it’s incredible, it’s all about knits – I think her work will be central to my thesis. 

TIA

Sounds like you squeezed a lot in!

MAIA

Well, I only have a month here, I have to!

TIA

That makes sense. Right, let’s get cooking.

MAIA

(gets up and joins TIA at counter) OK, what do I do?

TIA

I’m putting you in charge of making sambal, see, there’s the recipe (slight paper rustle), I wrote it out in English for you. You can start with these chilis, then those.

MAIA

All right boss! (starts deseeding and chopping chilis)

TIA

(smiles) Am I too bossy?

MAIA

(smiles) Not at all. I have no clue what I’m doing, so orders are helpful! (starts chopping onions)

TIA

Good to know. (starts rinsing rice) Oh, pop those in the mortar and mash them up.

MAIA

OK. (starts mashing together sambal) So what do you do when you’re not studying?

TIA

Well, I do enjoy cooking. And baking. (adds rice to pot, measures water and coconut milk, adds lemongrass, pot starts to simmer)

MAIA

Me too! What’s your favorite thing to bake?

TIA

You’re going to laugh, but I love making American-style chocolate chip cookies. Found a recipe in a magazine when I was a teenager and taught myself how to make them.

MAIA

No arguments here! I love chocolate chip cookies! You make ‘em regular or double chocolate?

(From this point both lose interest in the cooking, it’s still going on but slower)

TIA

Regular I guess. Haven’t thought of changing the original recipe much. Sometimes I add nuts.

MAIA

Well you can’t really go wrong with cookies.

TIA

True. What do you bake?

MAIA

All sorts of things. I love making Lamingtons – you know those?

TIA

No, what are they?

MAIA

They’re kiwi I think – or maybe Australian? Either way, I learnt how to make them as a teenager, after we moved to Auckland. It’s sponge cake coated in chocolate and coconut flakes.

TIA

Oh, that sound delicious. Maybe you could teach me how to make them?

MAIA

I would love to. I… (beat) Are you… seeing anyone?

TIA

What- Oh, you mean (slight embarrassed laugh) dating. Um. No.

MAIA

(carefully) Me neither.

TIA

(really nervous) I never have. Seen anyone. I never figured out how. When all the other girls started having boyfriends I just… didn’t. I focused on school and thought it would happen, later, but it hasn’t. It’s like there is an invisible wall between me and… romance I suppose. And I want to get to the other side but I just don’t know how it all works. (embarrassed laugh) Wow. I’ve never told that to anyone before. I mean, I have friends, but just…

MAIA

(surprised, gently) Really? But you are amazing. How could… I am sure there must have been loads of people interested in you.

TIA

Not that I’ve noticed. Oh, sure, some boys have tried, but it’s the really obnoxious types that I don’t even want to *talk* to for longer than five minutes, so…

MAIA

(carefully) Only boys?

TIA

(confused) Yes. Why- Oh. (understands) OH. (very embarrassed laugh) I- I don’t know any girls who like girls.

MAIA

(gently) Well. You do now.

TIA

(surprised but intrigued) Right.

MAIA

You OK with that?

TIA

Yes. Of course. As long as you’re OK with me being… whatever it is I am.

MAIA

(smiles) I like whatever you are.

TIA

I like you too. (sharp intake of breath, hand to mouth) Can’t believe I said that.

MAIA

(smiles) Well. It was nice to hear. (beat) Wanna get back to cooking?

TIA

I think that would be best.

MAIA

All right. Is this sambal looking all right or should I go a bit longer?

TIA

(beat) A little longer I think.

MAIA

OK.

(They cook in silence for a little while, MAIA keeps making sambal, TIA fries peanuts in hot oil, takes them out, adds anchovies to pan.)

TIA

Maia?

MAIA

Yes?

TIA

(nervous but determined) You already know that I’m no good at this sort of thing. So I’m just going to ask. (beat) Were you flirting with me before?

MAIA

(beat) Yes. I was. I will stop if you want.

TIA

No! I- I really liked it. I like you. But I don’t- I have no idea how to- I’ve never been-

MAIA

That’s OK. We can flirt for a while and you can see how you like it.

TIA

(smiles) Yeah. That would be good.

MAIA

So… (joking) Do you come here often?

TIA

(laughs) That’s terrible!

(MAIA laughs)

(Fade out)

Scene 2.5

(INT. Art museum, late afternoon. Annisa’s office. MAIA is typing on a 90s laptop, ANNISA is doing paperwork.)

ANNISA

(orders some papers into a stack) Right. Inventory’s all done. How are you doing, Maia?

MAIA

(typing a few final words) And… there. I think I’m done for the day.

ANNISA

Good. It seems like you are moving along on your thesis.

MAIA

Yes, I’m getting there. And everyone’s been so helpful.

ANNISA

I’m glad. Any plans tonight?

MAIA

Tia’s picking me up in (beat to look at watch) ten minutes. We’re off to Central Market – I need to get some gifts to bring home, so far I’ve only been shopping for myself (slight laugh).

ANNISA

(smiles) Well, have a good time! (stands up, takes a few steps toward door during following)

MAIA

Thanks, we will! (picks up book, slight rustle of page)

ANNISA
(stops by door before opening it) Listen. Maia. (beat)

MAIA

(slightly distracted) Yes?

ANNISA

(hesitant) It seems like you and Tia have been spending quite a lot of time together. (beat)

MAIA

Yes, we have.

ANNISA
Excuse me, I don’t quite know how to ask this but- Are you- (starting over) Tia seems really happy, but I don’t want to pry, I-

MAIA

(gently) I think you’d better talk to Tia, don’t you?

ANNISA

You are right. Forgive me. It’s just… Tia can be naïve about some things. And… (quickly) Please be careful in public, all right? Don’t kiss or anything like that. It’s not safe. Even holding hands, with your short hair and everything… It could be a risk.

MAIA

(taken aback) I-

ANNISA
You don’t have to confirm or deny anything. I will talk to Tia. I only… I love my country, but in this matter… We have far to go. And I don’t want you to put yourselves at risk.

MAIA

(slowly) All right. Thank you.

ANNISA

See you tomorrow.

MAIA

Yeah. See you.

(ANNISA opens door, almost hits TIA, their conversation is slightly distant)

TIA

(exclaims, in Manglish) Eh, watch out!

ANNISA

(in Manglish) Sorry! (concerned) Alamak! You ok ah Tee?

TIA

(in Manglish) Ya, I’m ok, you scare(d) me, that’s all. You leaving?

ANNISA

(in Manglish) Yeah I’m going to meet Lili now. Anyway, Maia’s inside ya.

TIA

(in Manglish) Thanks! See you tonight.

ANNISA

(in Manglish) Bye! (calls, in English) Bye Maia! (footsteps, heading out)

MAIA

(calls) Bye, Annisa!

TIA

(walks into office, happy) Hi! Ready to go?

MAIA

Yeah, can we just- You wanna close the door?

TIA

Sure. (closes door, sits down) What?

MAIA

Annisa’s figured out what’s going on. With you and me.

TIA

Oh. Was she… How did she seem?

MAIA

Fine, I think. It was very brief. I told her to talk to you, and she agreed that was better.

TIA

(relieved but not surprised) Oh good. I’ve been wanting to tell her, I just didn’t know how to start.

MAIA

(smiles) Well now you don’t have to. I think she’ll bring it up.

TIA

(about to get up) OK.

MAIA

Wait, there’s something else. I think the reason she brought it up with me was concern over… well how others would react. Here, in Kuala Lumpur. She warned us not to even hold hands in public.

TIA

(slowly) Right… I haven’t… You make me so happy and I suppose I’ve been living in a bubble these past few weeks. A big shiny joyful glittery bubble… (sadly) Suppose it was bound to pop.

MAIA

(sadly) I don’t want you to feel like that!

TIA

Well, it was going to happen anyway. (thinking) And she is right. I just haven’t been thinking about it in relation to you and me. Us   kissing in public could be… People are awful. The laws are very strict. I haven’t been… haven’t been putting labels on us, but homosexuality is against the law.

MAIA

(shocked) Oh wow. I never realized that.

TIA

No. I suppose I never thought about it too much. It didn’t concern me, or anyone close to me. There have been many stories of atrocities, but most of them directed at gay men, not girls.

MAIA

Not sure I feel like a girl. But that is horrible.

TIA

Yeah. It really is. (beat, curious) What do you mean you don’t feel like a girl?

MAIA

I never really have. I know I look like a girl, and all my life everyone’s been telling me that’s what I am. But… I feel like… That’s not the right word, for me.

TIA

(interested) So do you feel like a boy, or a man?

MAIA

No. Well sometimes, and sometimes like a woman, too. But I feel like it’s all just… Like an itchy sweater that’s three sizes too small.

TIA

You feel constrained?

MAIA

Yes! Limited. Like people want to put me in a box and I don’t fit, but they keep jamming me back in. You know what I mean?

TIA

I can imagine. But I’ve never felt that way exactly. Maybe when the older generation try some nonsense about a woman’s place and are shocked that I am unmarried at 26.

MAIA
Yeah. That’s similar, I think. But at least there *is* a box labelled ‘medical student’ you can fit into. Not sure what label I’d have.

TIA

Maybe you’ll find it?

MAIA

(thoughtful) Yeah, maybe. I’ve never put these thoughts into words before.

TIA

I am honoured to hear them.

MAIA

(smiles) You are amazing. (quick kiss) Off to market?

TIA

Yes. (BOTH get up) And just so you know, I will be mentally holding your hand the whole way there.

(footsteps toward door)

MAIA

So will I!

(They open door, walk out, close door)

(Fade out)

Scene 2.6

(INT. TIA’s and ANNISA’s apartment. Afternoon. MAIA and TIA are watching TV.)

TIA

This is nice.

MAIA

It really is. But… (sighs) I think we’ve both been avoiding this. (mutes TV)

TIA

Can we avoid it a bit longer?

MAIA

Well, I’m leaving Sunday. And who knows when we’ll have the apartment to ourselves again.

TIA

You are right. I just don’t know what to say.

MAIA

Me neither.

TIA

All right. How about this. I don’t want this to end.

MAIA

That’s a very good start. I don’t either.

TIA

I want to be with you.

MAIA

And I want to be with you. So how can we make that happen?

TIA

Well, people have long-distance relationships, don’t they?

MAIA

They do. Maybe we start there?

TIA

Yes.

MAIA
I feel- I’ve never felt like this before, about anyone.

TIA

Well, you know I haven’t either.

MAIA

I know. But it’s only been what – three weeks? We can’t jump into deciding everything yet.

TIA

No. But we can still talk about the future. Doesn’t mean we’re setting things in stone.

MAIA

True. All right. Where do you see this going?

TIA

I think we could live happily ever after.

MAIA

I’d very much like that. But… where? How?

TIA

(sighs) Unless they change the laws here, this isn’t the place.

MAIA

No. You are probably right. Being an interracial lesbian couple is not going to be easy anywhere, but it’ll probably be less stressful where we’re not illegal.

TIA

Yeah. So. Auckland, maybe?

MAIA

Or I can move somewhere else?

TIA

Like where?

MAIA

I don’t know. Somewhere. Anywhere. Don’t want you to feel like you’re the only one who has to move.

TIA

I don’t mind. And your family is in Auckland, would be nice to have *someone’s* family nearby.

MAIA

All right. So the very tentative plan is Auckland. I *think* they would give you a work permit, there is always need of doctors.

TIA

Yeah. I have another year of medical school before I start my pre-clinical training. If you’re still putting up with me at that point, I’ll move.

MAIA

If you don’t get sick of me first.

TIA

(smiles) Somehow, I don’t think so.

(BOTH laugh small happy laughs)

(Fade out)

Scene 2.7

NARRATOR

Thank you for listening to Y2K: Take 2. This episode was written and directed by Karin Heimdahl with sound design by Tal Minear. Our intro and outro music is created and recorded by Jake Haws, listen to his podcast “Making Music with Jake Haws” to hear more. This episode featured Shekendra Morgan as Maia, Su Ling Chan as Annisa and Sam Yeow as Tia. The drama school director was Sarah Golding, and the narrator was Emma Laslett. For more information, please go to Y2Kpod.com or find us on social media @Y2Kpod If you enjoy the show, please consider supporting us on Patreon.com/Y2Kpod Please join us again next month when we meet Johnno in 2002.

DIRECTOR

(claps hands) All right, thank you everyone. That’s a wrap for today!

(MUSIC “Welcome to the Year 2000” – instrumental)

Episode 3: Johnno – age 32 – London – March 2002

Scene 3:0

KARIN

Hello everyone, Karin Heimdahl here, creator of Y2K. This is the Johnno episode, and for long-time listeners, it will come as no surprise that it needs a content warning. This time it is for emotional abuse, loud yelling and strong language. We have a resource page on the website, where we have tried to list as many hotlines and info-pages and support things we could find. So if you feel you need any resources like that, go to y2Kpod.com[slash]resources and hopefully you will find it there. Please take care of yourself, and if you need to, don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help.

DIRECTOR

Places, please. We’ll try again everyone. Right. Whenever you’re ready – Take 2.

(MUSIC “Welcome to the Year 2000”)

NARRATOR

Episode 3. Welcome to the year 2002. March. London, England. Johnno is 32 years old.

Scene 3:1

(INT. London restaurant, early evening. Low background conversation. Soft music. Footsteps on carpet as waiter walks away.)

JOHNNO

(to JULIA, a little too loudly) He was a bit of a wanker, wasn’t he? As if I don’t know the difference between a Riesling and a Pinot Gris.

JULIA

(hushes him slightly) Well, you got what you wanted in the end.

JOHNNO

Yeah. That’s the main thing I suppose. (grabs wine glass) Cheers, sweetie! Happy six-month anniversary! (BOTH clink wine glasses and sip) Now, where was I before that waiter interrupted us?

JULIA

Um, you’d just described how they made it into the tunnels-

JOHNNO

(in better mood, a little louder than the environment requires)-Right, yes, so the whole thing explodes, but they just make it, and then they fight again, and the parents are killed, the bad guy socks it, and Arnold swoops up the kid and gets out of there, having saved the day. Great film.

JULIA

(smiles) Sounds exciting. (teasing) I thought you only liked indie films, sweetie?

JOHNNO

(slightly annoyed) I can enjoy an action film.

JULIA

(placating) I was only teasing.

JOHNNO

Well it wasn’t very funny.

JULIA

All right. (changes subject) The fish is good.

JOHNNO

Yeah. (petulant) They put too much chili on it though.

JULIA

I like it that way.

JOHNNO

(annoyed) I *don’t*.

JULIA

You could always send it back?

JOHNNO

No. Can’t be arsed. That waiter is a wanker. Never coming here again.

JULIA

I thought you liked the starter?

JOHNNO

It was all right. There are better restaurants.

JULIA

Yeah. (changes subject) So, today I think I finally figured out the theme for my showcase at ICA.

JOHNNO

Oh yeah? What’s it going to be?

JULIA

(passionate) I’ve been thinking a lot about birds in flight, that graceful movement, swooping, and dipping. I want to capture that.

JOHNNO

How’s that going to work on clothes?

JULIA

I’m thinking sweeping, flowy fabrics, and maybe I can create some original prints. I’d like to get some dancers instead of regular models, so they can really make the garments *move*. In my mind right now it is all in black and white, with a graphic feel, you now?

JOHNNO

(not that interested) Yeah, sounds good.

JULIA

(vaguely disappointed, searches for something else to say) You excited about the gig tonight?

JOHNNO

(happier) Yeah, should be good. Great venue, and the main band is fucking brilliant.

JULIA

(smiles) I’m really excited – can’t believe I haven’t been to one of your gigs yet, after six months!

JOHNNO

Yeah, well, took some time for the band to get going again after Dobb left. Hedge’s good, though. Bit full of himself, but all right.

JULIA

(slight laugh) They both have such funny names. They have to be nicknames, right?

JOHNNO

Yeah. Every musician’s got a nickname. The odder the better.

JULIA

So what’s yours?

JOHNNO

(vaguely offended) Well, Johnno.

JULIA

(laughs) ‘Course. No odder than that.

JOHNNO

Yeah. (beat)

JULIA

Anyway. I’m really looking forward to it.

JOHNNO

(smiles) Looking forward to having you there. You can be my groupie!

JULIA

(laughs) Absolutely!

JOHNNO

(kisses JULIA, she kisses back) Julia, my Julia… Well, if you’re really good, I’ll… (whispers the rest, about 15 words).

JULIA

(giggles, turned on) Johnno!

JOHNNO

Ah, you like it.

JULIA

(smiles) I do. And… (whispers the rest, about 10 words).

JOHNNO

(huskily) You are my kind of girl.

(They kiss again)

JOHNNO

So, do we have time for… (beat as he checks watch) Yes, if we’re quick. Let’s find somewhere private, yeah?

JULIA

(smiles, excited) Oh yeah.

JOHNNO

(calls) Could we have the bill please?

(They kiss again, JULIA giggles)

(Fade out)

Scene 3.2

(INT. London bus. Upper level, quite full. JOHNNO and JULIA walk quickly up the stairs, sit down, BOTH are out of breath and giggle a little.)

JULIA

(rushed but happy) Can’t believe we made it, that was some run!

JOHNNO

(elated) Well if you hadn’t distracted me we wouldn’t have taken so long.

JULIA

Or if *you* hadn’t distracted *me*! (happy laugh) Well, we made it, that’s the main thing! We’ll be right on time for your gig.

JOHNNO

(smiles) We will. You are extraordinary, you know that?

JULIA

(smiles) You’re quite something yourself.

(Quick kiss. Contented silence.)

JULIA

So I was talking to Chad the other day about the showcase, and he said he’s doing projected images during his show. Apparently he-

JOHNNO

(suspicious) Who’s Chad?

JULIA
Oh, he’s doing the showcase too, I met him last week.

JOHNNO

What kind of name is ‘Chad’?

JULIA

He’s American.

JOHNNO

Is he gay?

JULIA

I don’t know, that never came up.

JOHNNO

Like him, do you?

JULIA

Yes, I do. He’s funny and kind and he’s a great designer.

JOHNNO

Sounds like a wanker.

JULIA

Johnno! Be nice.

JOHNNO

(angry) You’re the one who started talking about some other bloke all of a sudden!

JULIA

What? Chad? Wait, are you jealous of Chad?

JOHNNO

(angry) Well you make me think I should be!

JULIA

Of course not. What? I can’t even talk about other men?

JOHNNO

I didn’t like *how* you talked about him.

JULIA

This is ridiculous, I’m not staying here (starts to get up).

JOHNNO

(grabs JULIA to make her stay, shouts) No! Don’t leave!

JULIA

(exclaims in pain) My arm! What are you doing?

JOHNNO

(tense) Sit down, everyone’s looking.

JULIA

(sits down) You hurt me.

JOHNNO

I didn’t mean to. You made me angry.

JULIA

Yeah. I noticed.

PASSENGER

(to JULIA) Are you all right, love?

JOHNNO

‘Course she is.

PASSENGER

I asked *her*. You all right?

JULIA

(beat) Yeah. (unhappy smile) Thanks.

PASSENGER

OK then. You take care, you hear?

JULIA

I will.

JOHNNO

C’mon, let’s go have fun at the gig, yeah?

JULIA

(doubtful) Yeah.

(BOTH get up)

(Fade out)

Scene 3.3

(INT. London pub, evening, plenty of people but not packed. Conversations all around, football match on TV in distance. Pub door opens, JULIA and JOHNNO enter.)

JULIA

(placating, a little fed up) -it all sounded good to me.

JOHNNO

(in a bad mood) It was shite. Whole thing was a bloody train wreck.

JULIA

(doesn’t know what to say) If you say so.

JOHNNO

(annoyed) What the hell? You’re supposed to- (realizes they’re in public, sullenly) Thought you said it sounded good.

JULIA

It did, to me. I didn’t hear anything wrong.

JOHNNO

Well, the amps were completely off. And the mix was all wonky – anyone could have heard that!

Listen, I- (interrupts herself, changes tactic) Why don’t you grab that booth and I’ll get the beer?

JOHNNO

Oh, all right. Guinness for me, yeah?

JULIA

Sure.

(JULIA walks away, we follow JOHNNO as he moves across the bar, gets bumped by passer-by)

JOHNNO

(mutters under breath) Excuse *you*. (beat) Wanker.

(Reaches booth, sits down. EMMA walks by, stops)

EMMA

(disbelief) Johnno?

JOHNNO

(surprised) Um, Emma?

EMMA

(wishes she could disappear) Hello.

JOHNNO

(gets up, moves to kiss EMMA’s cheek) Hi-

EMMA

(gut reaction, steps backward) No! I mean, hi, hello, handshake. Handshakes are good.

JOHNNO

(snorts) Oh, all right then. (beat) How are you? This isn’t your usual neck of the woods, is it?

EMMA

Good. I’m good. (beat) No. I mean. Friends. (gestures vaguely) Over there. Cinema. Monster’s Ball.

JOHNNO

Any good?

EMMA
Yeah, very good friends. Oh. Yeah. (Shaky breath) It was all right. How are you?

JOHNNO

Good. Yeah. Good. I-

JULIA

(footsteps, friendly) Oh hello. (sets two pint-glasses down on table) Have we met? I’m Julia.

EMMA

Emma. Nice to meet-

JOHNNO

Julia’s my girlfriend. (gives JULIA a quick kiss)

JULIA

(smiles) Fiancée, actually. Look!

EMMA

(stunned) Oh, right. Congratulations. That’s nice. (faintly) Very nice… ring.

JULIA

Thank you. We’ve only been together for six months, but he swept me off my feet, you know?

JOHNNO

Yes. You’re the girl for me.

EMMA

I should… I should get back to my friends. (beat, polite but slightly pitying) Nice to meet you, Julia.

JULIA

Likewise. (EMMA walks away, JOHNNO kisses JULIA again, they sit) So who was that?

JOHNNO

(in a better mood) Oh, friend of my ex.

JULIA

(surprised) Really? I thought she was off in Hollywood or something?

JOHNNO

(snorts) More like Canada or the like. Doesn’t mean her friends aren’t still here. (sips beer, spits out) What is this? I said Guinness!

JULIA

Sorry, no Guinness. The barman recommended that instead.

JOHNNO

Well what is it?

JULIA

I don’t know. Some other stout.

JOHNNO

Didn’t you ask?

JULIA

He said, but I forgot.

JOHNNO

(sighs) Very well, sweetheart. You do try. And at least you’re pretty. That dress looks great on you.

JULIA

(smiles) Thanks. Still can’t believe you found a vintage dress that fit me.

JOHNNO

Well, I-

JULIA

Sorry sweetie, off to the ladies. Be right back.

JOHNNO

All right. Don’t be long.

(JULIA gets up, quick kiss, footsteps. JOHNNO sips his beer. EMMA returns, decisive footsteps)

EMMA

(high energy, bundle of nerves) I just have to-

JOHNNO

(surprised) Emma! What are you-

EMMA

NO! You shut up and listen.

JOHNNO

What-

EMMA

(high energy, high emotion, controlled volume to avoid making too much of a scene) I said shut up! I’ve worked up the courage now and I am not leaving ‘til I’ve said it. (breathes in) You treated Kat like shit. You manipulated her, and lied to her, and tried to separate her from her friends, and her mother. (breathes in)

JULIA

 (comes back, sharp intake of breath) Wha- (stops to listen)

(EMMA and JOHNNO don’t notice JULIA)

JOHNNO

I don’t-

EMMA

You made Kat doubt *everything* about herself. You made her think she was mean, and self-centered, and not clever. You made her leave a job she enjoyed because *you* couldn’t control your jealousy. You crushed her and broke her and made her believe she was worthless, all so *you* could feel a little better about your disgusting self. (breathes in)

JOHNNO

I have no-

EMMA
And on top of all that, you fucking hit her, and you probably did worse things that she hasn’t told me about. You are a useless piece of garbage and you do not deserve Kat or any other partner. (beat) Have you told your fiancée what you did to Kat? What you did to Louise, and to probably whoever you were with before her? Does she know what you are? A vile, selfish monster. A man so weak he has to put others down to feel good about himself. You are a pathetic, whiny, useless excuse of a human being. Go fuck yourself Johnno – I hope I never see you again. (in Welsh) Twll dy ffycin’ din ti! (deep breath, football goal on TV in distance, many excited voices “GOAL”)

JOHNNO

I don’t speak French-

EMMA

Oh, and nice ring by the way. You couldn’t even bother to buy a new one? (turns to leave, spots JULIA, shocked) Oh. (to JULIA) Julia. I am so sorry. (walks away)

JOHNNO

I… (distracted) That was quick.

JULIA

(stunned) What… what…?

JOHNNO

I mean, you were quick. Back from the loo.

JULIA

Oh. Long queue. Not worth it. (shakes head) Never mind. What *was* that?

JOHNNO

I… She’s just drunk. You know. She’s Kat’s friend, Break-ups are always messy.

JULIA

That… that didn’t sound like…

JOHNNO

Emma always was a high-strung bitch. Tried to accuse my mate Simon of assault or something.

JULIA

(slowly, piecing it all together) Simon? I can imagine.

JOHNNO

Come on, let’s go home. Beer’s shite here anyway.

JULIA

(distracted, thinking) Yeah, all right. Let’s go.

(They gather their things, walk toward door, just as pub door opens there is another goal on TV. “GOAL” They walk through, door swings shut.)

(Fade out)

Scene 3:4

(INT. London bus. Late evening. Upper level, empty. JOHNNO and JULIA walk up the stairs, sit down. Silence.)

JOHNNO

Can you believe that? What a bitch. (silence) Emma always was loopy, but this takes the cake. Screaming at me in a bloody pub. Eh? Jules?

JULIA

(thinking) Why would she do that?

JOHNNO

Told you. She’s off her rocker. Always has been.

JULIA

All right, but… Some of what she said…

JOHNNO

(a little menacing) Yes?

JULIA

Some of what she said you did to… Kat… Some of that’s… (trails off into silence)

JOHNNO

What? What are you saying?

JULIA

I need to think about this.

JOHNNO

(angry) What? What’s there to fucking think about?

JULIA

(pause, quietly) Do you never do anything wrong?

JOHNNO

Course I do. Everyone does.

JULIA

OK, like what?

JOHNNO

Um… (lost for words)

JULIA

Yeah.

JOHNNO

(uncomfortable and aggressive) OK, I may not always have been the perfect boyfriend to my ex, but she wasn’t exactly girlfriend of the year either.

JULIA

So what did you do?

JOHNNO

(mutters) She had this way of making me so angry, it was always all about her.

JULIA

So what did *you* do?

JOHNNO

I… Let’s not talk about her anymore. She’s ancient history. It’s you and me now. And you… You are the best girlfriend I ever had. You are perfect.

JULIA

No. I’m not. No-one is.

JOHNNO

You are. (tries to kiss JULIA, she evades)

JULIA

Not right now, Johnno. Did you say the same thing to her?

JOHNNO

I…

JULIA

Johnno, did you… Was it true what Emma said? Did you hit your ex?

JOHNNO

(mutters) Not really. One time. Just a slap. I was angry.

JULIA

(feels like the world is falling apart but tries to keep it together) So you did hit her?

JOHNNO

Yeah. But she hit me too!

JULIA

OK, tell me about that.

JOHNNO

I was just sitting by my computer, we were talking, and all of a sudden she hit me on the back of the neck. I tell you, she was completely out of her mind…

JULIA

Right. And all the other things Emma said? You manipulated her and broke her down, was that true?

JOHNNO

Nah. Just some made-up shit. Girls always say a lot of crap after you’ve broken up.

JULIA

Do they? Or is it just *your* exes, Johnno?

JOHNNO

No, I…

JULIA

What will you say about me if we break up?

JOHNNO

We won’t break up. We’re great together.

JULIA

Are we?

JOHNNO

Oh, come on. You can’t let this… Julia, what are you saying?

JULIA

I’m not saying anything right now. I need to think, that’s all.

JOHNNO

Eh. Ignore them. You’re my sweetheart. Isn’t that enough? (quick peck)

JULIA

(quietly) I don’t know.

JOHNNO

(not listening) Almost home! C’mon! (gets up, starts going down the stairs; JULIA follows more slowly)

(Fade out)

Scene 3:5

(INT. JOHNNO’s apartment in Chalk Farm. JULIA is packing her clothes, walking back and forth between closet and duffel bag, folding and tucking. JOHNNO is sitting on the bed watching her.)

JOHNNO

(sulkily) I don’t want you to go, that’s all.

JULIA

Johnno, we’ve been over this so many times. I need a break. Going to stay with my parents for a few weeks will give me that. Plus I can work on my showcase designs without disturbing you.

JOHNNO

I like it when you’re home. With me.

JULIA

I know, and that’s nice, but I have to do this. For me.

JOHNNO

(annoyed) It’s all about you, isn’t it.

JULIA

Yes, this time it is about me.

JOHNNO

What about me? What about what I want, Julia?

JULIA

You will be fine. You have about a million things planned, it’s not like you’re going to sit here alone.

JOHNNO

No, but… I will miss you.

JULIA

I will miss you too. But we will be OK. (beat) It’s only two weeks.

JOHNNO

It will feel like an eternity.

JULIA

You’re a grown-up, you can handle it.

JOHNNO

(annoyed) Course I can.

JULIA

There you go. (tucks final piece of clothing in, zips up bag) Right. All packed. Time to go. (carries bag into hallway)

JOHNNO

(gets up, follows) Can’t we… Come here… (kisses JULIA) Sweetheart.

JULIA

(evasive) Bye, sweetie. Have a good time while I’m gone. (puts on jacket, starts putting on shoes but stops mid-way) Hang on. (goes quickly into bedroom again, we stay with JOHNNO)

JOHNNO

(calls) Forget something?

JULIA

(comes back out, resumes putting on shoes) Yeah. Mobile. Found it.

JOHNNO

Good. Call me when you arrive, yeah?

JULIA

I will. (quick kiss) Goodbye Johnno. (opens front door, steps out)

JOHNNO

Bye, sweetie. (door closes, mutters to himself) Right. What now… (walks slowly into bedroom; spots something on bed, exclaims) What? What’s that? (picks up small box, opens it) The ring… What? (snaps box shut, takes a few steps toward hallway, calls) Julia? Julia!  You (realizes) you  forgot… your… ring… Fuck. FUCK! (throws ring box in corner, punches wall)

(Fade out)

Scene 3:6

NARRATOR

Thank you for listening to Y2K: Take 2. This episode was written and directed by Karin Heimdahl with sound design by Tal Minear. Our intro and outro music is created and recorded by Jake Haws, listen to his podcast “Making Music with Jake Haws” to hear more. This episode featured Adam Blanford as Johnno, Gemma Sheldrick as Julia, Nerys Howell as Emma and Fiona Thraille as the passenger. The drama school director was Sarah Golding, and the narrator Emma Laslett. For more information, please go to Y2Kpod.com or find us on social media @Y2Kpod If you enjoy the show, please consider supporting us on Patreon.com/Y2Kpod Please join us again next month when we meet Emma in 2012.

DIRECTOR

(claps hands) All right, thank you everyone. That’s a wrap for today!

(MUSIC “Welcome to the Year 2000” – instrumental)

Episode 4: Emma – age 35 – Cardiff – April 2012

Scene 4.0

KARIN
Hi everyone! Karin Heimdahl here, creator of Y2K. I wanted to take a moment here at the beginning of episode four to ask for your help. We are recording both a production Q and A where I will answer any and all questions about writing, creating and producing the show, AND several cast and crew interviews, and for both we would love your questions. So please send us anything you’ve been wondering about, either by tagging us or DMing us on social media @y2kpod, or e-mail y2kpod@gmail.com Thank you so much – and here’s episode 4!

DIRECTOR

Places, please. We’ll try again everyone. Right. Whenever you’re ready – Take 2.

(MUSIC “Welcome to the Year 2000”)

NARRATOR

Episode 4. Welcome to the year 2012. April. Cardiff, Wales. Emma is 35 years old.

Scene 4.1

(INT. Office building, morning. Outside door opens and EMMA walks in, opens another door, there is some bleed from her headphones, she’s listening to something with an energetic beat. Opens final door, quiet office landscape, someone is on the phone in distance.)

GRAY

Morning Emma!

EMMA

(turns off music, takes off headphones) What was that?

GRAY

(teasing) Where’s my coffee?

EMMA

(laughs) Wherever you left it, Gray! (takes off coat, hangs it, puts purse on desk)

GRAY

(mock sigh, goes to coffee maker, starts making coffee, smiles) Oh well. Coffee service is shocking around here. (coffee maker starts spluttering) How was your week-end?

EMMA

Eh. (makes a disgruntled noise) Usual. Yours?

GRAY

All right. Me and Rhys went location scouting for the ceremony. Shockingly expensive places!

EMMA

I can imagine. They say anything with the word “wedding’ on is ten times as expensive. (small sigh) Not that *I’ll* ever find out…

GRAY

(sympathetic) Didn’t work out with the architect?

EMMA

No! We’d been texting for weeks and it was all flirty and exciting and then when we met she… I don’t know. Guess I didn’t live up to her expectations.

GRAY

But you’re great. Must be something else.

EMMA

Yeah, well. She’s not the first.

GRAY

Bad luck, that’s all. Next time, yeah?

EMMA

(sighs) Maybe.

GRAY

Next time for sure.

EMMA

(changes subject) So, what are we on today?

GRAY

(sighs) Boss has ‘an idea’.

EMMA

Oh no. No no no no.

GRAY

Exactly.

EMMA

Last time we were stuck in a basement looking through files for THREE months.

GRAY

I know. And it all came to nothing.

EMMA

Can we- what can we do?

GRAY

Dunno. Scream?

EMMA

(laughs) Cry?

GRAY

(makes sliding dance move) Dance?

EMMA

(laughs) We’d better! (a few steps, grabs coffee mugs, pours coffee for both, hands mug to GRAY) Here.

GRAY

Thank you. (small laugh) Know it’s dire when you pour my coffee!

EMMA

(smiles) Oh, shush. (sips coffee)

(PRODUCER opens door from inner office, walks out beaming)

PRODUCER

Emma! I’ve had a brilliant idea for Cold Hard Truth! And I want my two best researchers on it! (enthusiastically thumps GRAY and EMMA on the back, they make less-than-enthusiastic agreements) Let me tell you all about it. So. Imagine…

(footsteps as all three move toward PRODUCER’s office)

(Fade out)

Scene 4.2

(INT. Basement archive. Afternoon. EMMA and GRAY are going through files.)

EMMA

(sets down box full of paper with a thump, frustrated) More invoices! Ugh. We’ve been at this for three days now.

GRAY

(resigned) Something tells me we’re only just starting. (sets down file he’s holding) Coffee?

EMMA

Please!

GRAY

On it. There’s some leftover Easter chocolate – it’s over there.

EMMA

Perfect. (takes a chocolate) Mm.

(EMMA opens a new file and starts to leaf through it, GRAY walks to coffee maker and pours two cups of coffee.)

GRAY

So, what are you up to this week? Any fun plans? (walks back, sets down mug in front of EMMA)

EMMA

(distracted) Thanks.

(GRAY sits down, sets down coffee, grabs file)

EMMA

(sips coffee) What was that?

GRAY

Any fun plans? (grabs file and starts leafing through it)

EMMA
(small smile) Actually… I’ve been chatting with this bloke from Swansea, he’s coming over for the Doctor Who Experience this Saturday, so we’re meeting for coffee.

GRAY

Doctor Who geek, huh? You could do worse.

EMMA

I definitely could. (sighs, puts down document) *You’re* in a relationship, Gray.

GRAY

Yeah?

EMMA

You are getting married, even.

GRAY

Well ‘civil partnership’, but yeah. Seems that way. If not, Rhys and I addressed 80 invitations last night for no reason. Do you know how much postage is for 80 cards? Too bloody much, if you ask me.

EMMA
My point is. You should know.

GRAY

Know what?

EMMA

How to get into a relationship.

GRAY

Hang on. You mean- Emma, have you never had a relationship?

EMMA
Only really brief ones. (sighs) I wasn’t interested at first, well, until this year, really. I was just having fun, and I met all sorts of great folks, but… It seems now that I figured out *I* want a relationship, no-one wants to have one with me.

GRAY

(concerned but not sure what to say) Surely it must be bad luck.

EMMA

I suppose. (small smile) Who knows, maybe the geek will be my soulmate.

GRAY

It is definitely possible. And if not, at least you’ll be having coffee.

EMMA
(laughs) True! All right. (stretches) Back to the invoices… (Picks up file again)

GRAY

(sighs) Very well. (picks up file, sighs) This job may be excruciatingly boring, but at least it’s nice and quiet down here.

(distant footsteps, basement door opens, PRODUCER walks in carrying heavy boxes, sets them down noisily on table)

PRODUCER

(booming voice, exuberant) There! Saved you a trip! (beat) This is cosy, isn’t it? You’ve got a good set-up here. And chocolate! Don’t mind if I do. (pops piece of chocolate in mouth, following is muffled) How’s it going? Found anything?

EMMA

(beat) No. It’s quite a lot to go through.

GRAY

I’m still stuck on ‘cosy’. This is a basement. Pretty sure it’s the definition of *not* cosy.

PRODUCER

(loud laugh) Funny, you are. Righto. Best get back. Work, work work, yes? (laughs, starts walking toward door)

(Fade out)

Scene 4.3

(INT. Basement archive. Early afternoon. EMMA and GRAY are looking through files.)

GRAY

(groans, puts file down) I feel sick.

EMMA

(a little distracted) It’s what happens when you have cake for lunch.

GRAY

Wasn’t my fault! (a little petulant) It was Rhys’ idea.

EMMA

Tasting wedding cakes in your lunch hour? Valid choice, I suppose, (emphasis) unless you need to eat some actual lunch.

GRAY

(slight groan) Oh stop lecturing. Distract me instead. How was your coffee date with the Doctor Who geek?

EMMA

(resigned) The date was quite good, I thought. Ghosted me afterwards though.

GRAY

Ugh. I’m sorry. Wanker.

EMMA

Yeah. That about sums it up. (puts down her file) I did sort of meet someone yesterday though.

GRAY

Really?

EMMA

I was at that photo exhibit at the Millennium Centre, and started talking to this woman… Turns out she’s also into urban history, and we had a really good conversation… We talked for ages. And then she gave me her phone number.

GRAY

That’s promising! Did you text her?

EMMA

Not yet. I meant to, last night, but… Completely nerve-wracking. Much worse than texting folks I’ve met online. Higher stakes, you know?

GRAY

Get your phone.

EMMA

No. Not sure if she’s into me – or into women! There was a bit of a flirty thing going on. I think. I hope. Ugh. WHY is this so hard?

GRAY

(mock threatening) Emma.

EMMA

Fine. (grabs phone from purse)

GRAY

Open text messages.

EMMA

(sighs, low phone beeps) Now what?

GRAY

Write.

EMMA

But WHAT?

GRAY

Words are what you’re good at. Write.

EMMA

(unhappy sigh) Fine. Um. (as she’s typing, all typing makes those annoying little phone keyboard beeps) “great meeting you yesterday” (beat, sighs) I am shit at this sort of thing.

GRAY

No you’re not. You’re just stressed about it. How about “Let’s live happily ever after and write historical fiction together”

EMMA

(crumples paper into ball and throws at GRAY) Be serious.

GRAY

(laughs) All right. Um. “want to meet for coffee sometime?”

EMMA

Gah. Isn’t that very… aggressive?

GRAY

No. It’s called communication.

EMMA

Right. “want to meet for coffee someday?” signed “Emma – Cardiff Before Cardiff exhibition” No that’s silly. Just “Emma”. But what if she doesn’t remember me? Ugh. (types) Parenthesis “Cardiff Before Cardiff”. Yeah. (hands phone to GRAY) Is that all right?

GRAY

Perfect. I’m sending it now?

EMMA
All right.

GRAY

(beep) Done! (hands back phone) My good deed for the day.

EMMA

Thanks. (puts phone on table) How are you feeling?

GRAY

Better! Energized by all this excitement. I’ll put some more coffee on. (walks to coffee maker and starts making coffee)

EMMA

Thanks. (small laugh) Ruth was down here earlier, looking for the coffee maker. (smiles) I threw my jacket over it.

GRAY

(stops what he’s doing) Phew! Good job! We deserve it – *they* don’t have to sit in a dusty basement. (resumes making coffee)

EMMA

Yeah. (sigh) I’d better get back to these expense reports. (grabs file)

(2012 text message sound)

EMMA

(continues) Oh! (picks up phone, smiles) It’s her! She wants to meet for coffee! (laughs) But she prefers tea, well I can live that…

GRAY

Aw. True love means making these sacrifices…

EMMA

(happy) Come help me write a reply!

GRAY

(laughs) All right.

(Fade out)

Scene 4.4

(INT. Office building. Afternoon. EMMA and GRAY are in an elevator going down.)

GRAY

Ugh. That was a horror show. Or, um, ‘production meeting’. (imitates PRODUCER) “We need to book that interview and confront the mayor with some Cold Hard Truth”

EMMA

(laughs, imitates PRODUCER) “Evidence! We need evidence!”

GRAY

How about this one “Cold Hard Truth is our flagship production, spare no effort!” (slight laugh) It *is* funny. If only it wasn’t so frustrating.

(Elevator dings and doors open. EMMA and GRAY walk down basement corridor.)

EMMA

(sighs) At least he’s never cross.

GRAY

There is that. Endless optimism.

(Opens door to archive, BOTH walk in)

EMMA

But he wants to schedule this for May, and that will never happen. We’re simply drowning in receipts and invoices and contracts, even if there *are* any corrupt council members – which I highly doubt, all of this paperwork is impeccable – even if there is something, we won’t find it anytime soon.

GRAY

(like a mantra) Unless we’re lucky, unless we’re lucky, unless we are very very very lucky. (to table with boxes of files) If I stick my hand into *this* box and randomly pick out *this* file (does so as he speaks) and pick out (sticks hand in file) *this* document, it will be exactly what we are looking for. (mutters) Exactly what we’re looking for…  it’ll be…(holds out document to EMMA) I can’t look, you do it.

EMMA

(takes paper, beat, incredulous laugh) This is an empty page!

GRAY

(laugh-snort, flops down on chair) We are truly  doomed.

EMMA

(sits down) We really are. (sighs)

GRAY

Right, that’s it. I’m going to work at Roath Lock instead.

EMMA

Um, yeah. I don’t think they’re hiring researchers, Gray. Or journalists, at all.

GRAY

Stop ruining my fantasy. I can picture it now. Having lunch with a Dalek, the Casualty crew rushing by with someone on a stretcher, and that hottie from that period drama they’ve got, walking up to me, holding a-

EMMA

(laughs) Thought you were supposed to be getting married. Monogamy, no?

GRAY

Shh, fantasy, remember? (sits up) Pretty sure Rhys would forgive me – we agree on that particular hottie. (smiles) Speaking of hotties, how are you getting on with history-woman?

EMMA

(distressed) Don’t remind me.

GRAY

What? I thought things were going really well?

EMMA
It was. For about a week. (deep sigh) We had that talk last night. The “she’s not looking for anything serious” talk. (unhappy laugh) Know that one by heart at this point. Code for “she’s not looking for anything serious with *me*”. Fuck. I hate this.

GRAY

That’s grim. I’m sorry.

EMMA

Thanks. Ugh. I’m not sure I can do this anymore, Gray. I am so tired. And this… being rejected again and again. How do people do it?

GRAY

Maybe they don’t get as… invested as you do, so it doesn’t hurt as much?

EMMA
Maybe. But I feel like… I have to open up, I have to get invested, how else will any relationship have a chance?

GRAY

I don’t know. When I was single (snort) – like  back in the 19th century – I wasn’t looking for a relationship, I sort of fell into one, so…

EMMA

If you tell me to relax and take it as it comes I will stab you with a ballpoint pen.

GRAY

(smiles) I won’t. (serious) But I do know that there is an element of luck involved. And timing. Hard to control that stuff.

EMMA

I know. I feel like I am doing all I can. ‘Making myself available’ and all that crap. On about 50 000 different dating sites at this point. I’m… What’s wrong with me? (near tears) Why doesn’t anyone want me?

GRAY

(gently) There is nothing wrong with you. *You* are great. People are shit and don’t know what they want, that’s all.

EMMA

(sad smile) Maybe. Thanks. (deep sigh) Suppose we’d better get back into it.

GRAY

Yeah. (picks up stack of file, dumps on table, grabs one) Ugh. How are you doing on those meeting notes?

EMMA

(opens laptop, types in password) Nothing so far. But at least they’re digital. (tries to be cheerful) No paper cuts today.

GRAY

That’s the spirit. Coffee?

EMMA

Please!

(Fade out)

Scene 4.5

INT. Basement archive. Morning. EMMA is sitting at table.

EMMA

(sips coffee, picks up file of papers, sighs, mutters) More invoices…

(quick footsteps, door opens)

GRAY

(high energy) Good morning!

EMMA

Morning. There’s coffee in the pot.

GRAY

(unfastens bike helmet, unzips light jacket, dumps helmet, bag and jacket on chair) You are a lifesaver! (to coffee maker, pours cup, approaches EMMA) Glorious day!

EMMA

(distracted) Is it?

GRAY

(sets cup on table, sits down) Yes! First time biking to work this year.

EMMA

(distracted) That’s nice.

GRAY

Yes! I am all hyped up and ready to go! (grabs stack of files, thump on table) What delightful documents are we checking today?

EMMA

Invoices. Got a new set of boxes this morning. (beat, puts down file) You are very happy today. Anything special?

GRAY

Thank you so much for noticing. Sunshine, for one. Not exactly spoiled on that front.

EMMA

No, it’s been an unusually rainy spring.

GRAY

Also.. (sheepish) Rhys is away for work so I have a few days off from wedding planning. Terrible, aren’t I?

EMMA

(laughs) Yes. You are. But I get that. Getting close now, right?

GRAY

Three weeks. And two days. I swear, if I’d known how much stress this would be, I wouldn’t have… (smiles) Nah, I would have agreed to it anyway. True love and all that jazz. But it *is* exhausting.

EMMA

I can imagine.

GRAY

We spent all of last night talking about flowers. I mean, I like flowers. But the level of detail…  

EMMA

What did you end up going for?

GRAY

I can’t even remember. It’s all a haze of carnations and orchids and baby’s breath at this point. (beat) Purple. I think we decided on purple.

EMMA

(laughs) Purple is good.

GRAY

More importantly, *I* have no plans for tonight, and *you* need cheering up. How about we go down the pub after work, (jokingly) have a Guinness?

EMMA

(smiles) No to the Guinness, yes to the pub! (beat) Thanks. I need something fun.

GRAY

Good. It’s settled. (sips coffee) No new prospects?

EMMA

Not really. No-one interesting. (sighs) Some online messages. From folks looking for their ‘partner in crime’ or a ‘travel buddy’ to join their supposedly adventurous yet down-to-earth lives. They generically enjoy ‘movies’, or ‘music’, or ‘walks in the park’ or – personal favorite! – ‘laughing’.

(GRAY laughs, EMMA joins in a little)

EMMA

(continues) I know it sounds funny, but it’s depressing. Men who can’t spell. Unsolicited dick pics.

GRAY

Hey. How come I never get dick pics?

EMMA

You are not on dating sites?

GRAY

True.

EMMA

(sighs) Anyway. I am not really trying too hard right now. Guess I need a break too.

GRAY

Solid plan. Today, at least, we are taking time off.

EMMA

(smiles) Yes. (beat) Not from the invoices, though.

GARY

Oh yes, the exciting invoices. (sighs, picks up file, sighs, starts reading)

EMMA

Mm. Exciting. (sighs, picks up file, paper rustles)

GRAY

(pause, sips coffee, paper rustles, beat) Hm… (picks up another document) This could… this could actually be something.

EMMA

(distracted) What could?

GRAY

Not to get your hopes up or anything, but… This could lead somewhere. (hands documents to EMMA) What do you think?

EMMA

(reads, mumbles) Councillor L. Jones… Planning Committee… invoice…. This *is* a bit odd. Why would there be an invoice here for this?

GRAY

Exactly. Now, if only we could trace this further. Who authorized this invoice? And why?

EMMA

(opens laptop, types password, clicks, starts typing) Meetings, planning committee… what date was it?

GRAY

(paper rustling) November 27, 2009.

EMMA

(typing) Right.

GRAY

I’ll get on the rest of the invoices around that time. (grabs stack of files from new box, starts leafing through one) Who knows, we might be onto something here.

EMMA

(typing) Fingers crossed.

(Fade out)

Scene 4.6

(INT. Basement archive. Late afternoon. EMMA and GRAY are still going through files.)

GRAY

(puts down fila and stretches) Aaah. (beat) Ow. Twenty days in a dusty basement makes me a *very* dull boy. Neck and shoulders are completely rigid. (keeps doing small stretches and making small pained exclamations)

EMMA

(tired) Yeah. (puts down file and tries stretching too) Ugh. Thought we were onto something, but… Red herring I suppose.

GRAY

If only we could find the authorization document, it has to be here somewhere…

EMMA

We’ve been saying that for *days*. Maybe it doesn’t exist.

GRAY

(gets up, starts walking and stretching) Almost time to call it a day, I think. Or a week-end…

EMMA

What wedding preparation shenanigans are you up to now?

GRAY

Ugh, don’t remind me. Seating plan. 80 of our nearest and dearest and half of them can’t sit near at least one other person… Bit of a nightmare.

EMMA

Well, good luck with that. Sounds… like one of those impossible puzzles.

GRAY

Yes. And not the fun kind. You up to anything special? The Queen’s in town today – you planning a coffee date maybe?

EMMA

(laughs) Oddly not. (beat) But… I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said in the pub the other night.

GRAY

I believe I said a lot of things. For some of them I was quite drunk.

EMMA

You did. And you were. But this… you said something about… not placing my… worth… in the balance. I laughed it off, but… You are right. The rejections really hurt, and they won’t stop hurting, but… I am going to try and not let it… diminish me so much.

GRAY

(smiles) Good to know I say useful things every once in a while.

EMMA

(smiles) Every now and then.

GRAY

Right, one more coffee so we can tackle the final box of the week?

EMMA

Please.

GRAY

(gets coffee pot, refills mugs on table) There you go. (replaces pot)

EMMA

(sits down, drags box toward her, grabs stack of files) Thanks. (sips coffee, takes one file, hands one to GRAY)

GRAY

Thank youp. (sic)(sits down, sips coffee, starts looking through file) Right.

(pause)

EMMA

Wait… (re-checks) This… (calls) Gray! I think this is it! (reads, paper rustles slightly) Jones… That’s the amount… date… This proves the whole thing!

GRAY

(drops his papers and walks over quickly, reads) Planning… 2009… You’re right! (relieved) Thank fuck for that! I was going batty in here.

(footsteps during previous, door opens, PRODUCER enters)

PRODUCER

(in great mood, booming voice) You’ll be happy to know I’ve decided to drop this project. Thank you both very much.

(Emma and GRAY start laughing and can’t stop)

EMMA

(few steps to manager, hands over document, in between giggles) We… We just found it… Here…

(Emma and Gray are still laughing but in that out-of-breath, not so noisy way)

PRODUCER

Ah! (beat) Right. (beaming) I knew you could do it. Well done! (beat) Now, I have a new idea…

(EMMA and GRAY groan)

(Fade out)

Scene 4.7

NARRATOR

Thank you for listening to Y2K: Take 2. This episode was written, and directed by Karin Heimdahl, with sound design by Emmett Moon. Our intro and outro music is created and recorded by Jake Haws, listen to his podcast “Making Music with Jake Haws” to hear more. This episode featured Nerys Howell as Emma, Nathan Blades as Gray and Ashley Hunt as the producer. The drama school director was Sarah Golding, and the narrator Emma Laslett. For more information, please go to Y2Kpod.com or find us on social media @Y2Kpod If you enjoy the show, please consider supporting us on Patreon.com/Y2Kpod Please join us again next month when we meet Kat[slash]Ina (EE-na) in 2011.

DIRECTOR

(claps hands) All right, thank you everyone. That’s a wrap for today!

(MUSIC “Welcome to the Year 2000” – instrumental)

Episode 5: Kat – age 35 – Boston – May 2011

Scene 5.0

DIRECTOR

Places, please. We’ll try again everyone. Right. Whenever you’re ready – Take 2.

(MUSIC “Welcome to the Year 2000”)

NARRATOR

Episode 5. Welcome to the year 2011. May. Boston, USA. Kat is 35 years old.

Scene 5.1

(INT. Fancy restaurant, early evening, ambient jazz music, carpeted floor, low murmur of voices.)

 MARIE

Good evening and a warm bienvenue to Chez Renard. My name is Marie, and I’ll be your server this evening. Would you like me to tell you about the restaurant’s history?

KATARINA

(confused but polite) Um… All right?

(Slight groan from ANDY)

MARIE

Ahem. Chez Renard was established in 1962 by chef Jean-Étienne Renard, who had arrived to Boston from the small French town of Saint-Marcel-sur-Aude the previous year. The first few months were-

(ANDY gently clears his throat)

MARIE

As I was saying, the first few months were difficult for chef Renard, as he-

(ANDY clears his throat again)

MARIE

Ahem. Yes?

ANDY

I’m sorry, we’re kind of hungry, maybe we can hear the history another time?

MARIE

(offended but tries to hide it) Ahem. Very well. (clears throat) Let me tell you all about our menu. I see you have booked the twelve-course Les Delices de la Mer taster menu, excellent choice. Would you like me to tell you about all the dishes now, or each one as I bring them out?

KATARINA

I-

ANDY

(quickly) As you bring them out, please.

KATARINA

Yes.

MARIE

(disappointed) Certainly monsieur. Ahem. May I bring you an aperitif, perhaps?

ANDY

(a little nervous) Yes, could we have some champagne, please?

MARIE

Of course, would you like a bottle, or a glass?

KATARINA

(smiles) I’d like some too, so a bottle maybe?

MARIE

Of course, madame. (places wine menu in front of ANDY) May I recommend the Pol Roger Brut Reserve of 2000 vintage? (slight menu movement) It’s this one, here.

ANDY

(slight gasp at price) Um. Why not. (smiles) We are celebrating, after all, right Ina (EE-na)?

KATARINA

(smiles) We are. Hard to believe that 2000 is vintage now.

ANDY

(smiles) Well, in wine anyways.

MARIE

(takes menu) Ahem. A fine choice, monsieur, madame. I will return toute suite with your selection.

KATARINA

Thank you.

(MARIE’s footsteps move away)

KATARINA

(slight giggle, low voice) What’s going on with her? Where *have* you brought me, Andy?

ANDY

(a little stressed) I’ve only been here once, for lunch. I wanted to take you somewhere really nice. The food is supposed to be top notch.

KATARINA

(smiles) It is lovely. Our… ‘server’ seems a little odd, that’s all.

ANDY

(smiles) Agreed. But I don’t think she recognized you, so that’s a plus.

KATARINA

It is! (sighs) Maybe I’m too used to people pandering to me ‘cause of the ‘fame’ thing… You will tell me if I start getting too big-headed, right?

ANDY

(smiles) Sure thing. Don’t think you could get any snootier than Marie there.

KATARINA

(laughs) OK, good to know.

(MARIE approaches again)

MARIE

Here you are, monsieur.

ANDY

Oh. Yes. That looks great.

(MARIE opens champagne bottle, pours a little in ANDY’s glass)

ANDY

(tastes) Yes. Very nice.

MARIE

(pours for both ANDY and KATARINA, places bottle in metal ice bucket) Ahem. Did you know that Pol Roger was Winston Churchill’s favorite champagne?

KATARINA

(polite but tries to control giggle) No.

(ANDY groans slightly)

MARIE

It started back in 1908, and it is estimated that Churchill drank two bottles of champagne a day. When he died in 1965, Pol Roger placed a black border around the labels-

ANDY

(gently interrupts) Thank you, very interesting. I think it’s time for us to make a toast now.

MARIE

(slightly offended) Naturally, monsieur. Ahem. May I ask what you are celebrating?

ANDY

(happy but nervous) It’s our one-year anniversary. (hastily) Of dating, I mean.

MARIE

Ah, félicitations, monsieur, mademoiselle. (to ANDY) You’d better pop the question quick, monsieur, you don’t want this belle demoiselle to get away. If I may, monsieur, we have had many beautiful proposals right here in the restaurant. Ahem. I will return shortly with the first course.

(Footsteps as MARIE walks away, ANDY swallows nervously)

KATARINA

(trying to control epic giggles, low voice) She’s giving relationship advice now? (more suppressed giggles) I mean, who proposes in a restaurant? I’ve never understood that. (faint giggles)

ANDY

(completely taken aback) I… yeah. (strained laugh)

KATARINA

(oblivious) I guess it’s an American thing? Like people proposing at baseball games? I mean, what if they get a no? Or what if the person being proposed to feels like they have to say yes? It seems like too much pressure to me.

ANDY

(trying to regain his composure) Suppose it *is* an American thing. (beat) So, not for you I guess.

KATARINA

(oblivious, laughs) No! Can you imagine? Such an embarrassing spectacle. (smiles) I like us. I like what we have.

ANDY

(smiles, still quite thrown) I like us too. I am very happy I met you.

KATARINA

(smiles) Me too. Did I ever tell you I almost didn’t make it to that fundraiser?

ANDY

No! That would have been… I mean, I would never have dared approach you if I’d known who you were.

KATARINA

(laughs) The distracted professor strikes again!

ANDY

(slight laugh) Yes, I never was one for movies. I’ve tried to catch up, though.

KATARINA

You’re doing great. And it’s good you are not in the… ‘biz’, you know? Means I can be in… (slight laugh) the real world, I guess, with you.

ANDY

(smiles) I am happy to provide some realness.

KATARINA

(smiles) You know what I mean.

ANDY

(serious) I do. (beat) I love you, Ina (EE-na).

KATARINA

(serious) I love *you* Andy. (grabs glass) To us?

ANDY

(grabs glass) To us! (glasses clink softly, they sip)

KATARINA

Mm. That is nice. Say what you like about our new chum Marie, she knows her stuff.

ANDY

She sure does.

(MARIE approaches with two plates and sets them down during following)

MARIE

Let me just move the orchids, like so… Monsieur, mademoiselle, may I present your first course. Ahem. So here we have Cassolettes de Saint-Jacques à la crème safranée…

(Slight giggle from KATARINA, suppressed snort from ANDY)

(Fade out)

Scene 5.2

(INT. restaurant, much later that same evening. New ambient jazz, slightly more boisterous background conversations.)

ANDY

Oh wow. Not sure I can move now.

KATARINA

Me neither. That was a lot of food.

ANDY

Delicious, though.

KATARINA

Yes. (smiles) I’m glad you chose this place. (giggle) And the entertainment was free!

ANDY

(laughs) It was! Think we needed those breaks in-between the courses, actually!

KATARINA

Absolutely. Wanna take a walk or something? To shake down all the food?

ANDY

Perfect. Boston Common is right down the street.

(MARIE approaches)

MARIE

Thank you, monsieur, mademoiselle. It has been a plaisir to serve you. Ahem. If you follow me, I will get your coats.

(ANDY and KATARINA get up, both ‘oof’ slightly as they are so full, all THREE start walking, we follow)

FAN

(approaches, nervous but excited) So sorry to interrupt, but, aren’t you Ina (EE-na) Fischer?

KATARINA

(polite) Yes, that’s right. Hello.

(Surprised gasp from MARIE)

FAN

Hi. Big fan. Loved you in As Stars Align.

KATARINA

(polite) Thank you so much.

FAN

Could I get a picture? I’m Eric.

KATARINA

(polite) Of course.

(Shuffle as FAN gets out his phone and KATARINA gets into position. A few phone camera clicks.)

FAN

Thank you so much! All right if I post it on Instagram?

KATARINA

(polite) Of course.

FAN

Thank you! This is so exciting!

KATARINA

(polite smile) Nice to meet you, Eric. Take care. (to MARIE) Could we get our coats please, Marie?

FAN

Bye! Thank you! (excited squeal, walks away)

MARIE

(flustered) Of course, Miss Fischer, I mean, mademoiselle Fischer, I apologize, I didn’t realize, you look so much *taller* om screen, oh! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-

KATARINA

(polite) That’s quite all right.

MARIE

(still babbling) -of course we have had quite a few famous guests over the years, Bette Davis was the very first, in 1963, right around the time of “What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?” – wonderful performance – see? We have our wall of fame over the- (there) Oh! We HAVE to take a picture for our wall! If you just come with me… (starts walking, mumbles) Ina Fischer, mon dieu!

ANDY

(low voice) You don’t have to, you know.

KATARINA

(low voice) It’s all right. Part of the job.

(KATARINA and ANDY start walking towards MARIE)

MARIE

(yelling to someone) Garçon! Over here! Come take a picture! (whispers loudly) Ina (EE-na) Fischer is here! (To KATARINA) Mademoiselle Fischer! Here, right in front of the orchid arrangement, please. Ready? (Does not wait for reply, sing-song voice) Fromage!

KATARINA

(Mumbles through smile) Fromage? (camera clicks)

MARIE

One more! Encore! (camera click) Thank you so much Mademoiselle Fischer, we will be honored to display this on our wall. And please, come again! Sadly chef Renard is not here tonight, but he would be enchanté to meet you.

KATARINA

(smile a little strained) Thank you.

ANDY

(gently) Our coats, please?

MARIE

Pardon, monsieur, of course! (bustles off to get coats)

KATARINA

(relieved) Thank you.

ANDY

(smiles) Anytime.

MARIE

Madame, pardon, mademoiselle Fischer (helps KATARINA into her light jacket, to ANDY) You should do something about that monsieur, didn’t I say so before? (loud whisper) Propose! Ahem. Don’t want her getting away! (helps ANDY into light coat)

ANDY

Right. Thanks.

KATARINA

Thank you. Bye!

(KATARINA and ANDY start walking out, open door)

MARIE

Goodbye, and please come again, it was a true plaisir(cut to muffled as door closes behind KATARINA and ANDY)

(EXT. evening city street)

KATARINA

(lets out breath, happy) We escaped!

ANDY

(happy) We did! And it’s a nice night – you up for that walk?

KATARINA

Absolutely!

(BOTH start walking, leisurely pace)

ANDY

Guess we are not going back there?

KATARINA

I guess not. Shame, the food was good.

ANDY

Plenty of other restaurants.

KATARINA

Yeah.

ANDY

(pause) Listen, I… (trails off)

KATARINA

What?

ANDY

I thought… (starts over) I mean… Sometimes, despite everything… I guess I am just a typical American guy, you know?

KATARINA

(confused) Yes?

ANDY

And I assume things.

KATARINA

OK, like what?

ANDY

Like… (starts over) We’re in our thirties, and… we’ve been dating for a year and things seem to be going really well…

(They have reached Boston Common)

KATARINA

(oblivious) They are. I love being with you.

ANDY

(smiles) And I love being with you. (beat) So… (swallows nervously) I was planning to… I… (deep breath, stops, pulls KATARINA to stop too) I was going to be that embarrassing, cliché guy proposing in a restaurant tonight.

KATARINA

(shocked) Wha- OH! Oh, Andy, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-

ANDY

(interrupts, very stressed) So, I mean… You don’t have to answer right away.

KATARINA

(still in shock) Right. OK.

ANDY

(very stressed) And I’m not going to go down on one knee or anything, but… Will you think about it? About… our future, if we have one?

KATARINA

Yes. I will. But marriage, I don’t-

ANDY

(interrupts, tries to smile) All right. Not sure my heart could take the end of that sentence.

KATARINA

I don’t want to hurt you. (pause) And… I want us to have some kind of future.

ANDY

I do too.

KATARINA

(small smile) OK. So that’s a start.

ANDY

Yeah. (deep breath) I think I want to… go home and be alone.

KATARINA

You sure? I added you to my hotel room.

(BOTH start walking)

ANDY

Yeah. The train ride will do me good. Time to think.

KATARINA

OK. If you’re really sure?

ANDY

Yeah. It’s been a long night.

KATARINA

So… see you tomorrow, maybe?

ANDY

All right. (small smile) Non-fancy dinner somewhere?

KATARINA

I’d love that.

ANDY

It’s a date.

KATARINA

Good.

ANDY

Here’s my exit. (stops) See you tomorrow. (walks away)

KATARINA

(calls) See you. (quietly) I love you.

(Fade out)

Scene 5.3

(EXT. Outdoor seating area, lunch restaurant near water, midday. Distant chat from other lunch guests. KATARINA and SHIRIN are having lunch.)

KATARINA

-and I made fun of people proposing in restaurants and it turned out that’s what he planned to do last night. Shirin, I feel awful!

SHIRIN

Of course you do. (sighs) American men. They can be as progressive as you please, but when it comes to this proposing nonsense they are all completely brainwashed. Poor things.

KATARINA

(laughs) Sounds like you’ve been proposed to a lot!

SHIRIN

(laughs) Well I am married, so one, obviously!

KATARINA

(laughs) You had a beautiful wedding, but that’s not what I asked.

SHIRIN

(smiles) I think we proposed to each other, actually. But she is American so she did have some odd ideas about weddings… Anyway, where was I?

KATARINA

American men.

SHIRIN

Yes! Before Beth I had two proposals from American men, both sort of out of the blue – I think that’s what threw me the most, I mean, don’t people talk about this sort of thing beforehand? Or is there a schedule I don’t know about? After x amount of months or years together, I should expect to be offered a ring? I don’t get it.

KATARINA

That’s exactly what Andy said! He was like – we’ve been together a year, and we are over thirty, and everything’s going well… I think you’re right, there *is* a schedule!

SHIRIN

A-ha! And the number of months go down if you’re over 30, and up if you’re not getting along well – it’s not a schedule, it’s an algorithm!

(BOTH laugh)

KATARINA

Shirin, I’ve *missed* you! I’m so glad you happened to be in town today!

SHIRIN

Me too. I don’t see you nearly as often as I’d like, Ina (EE-na). You should come hang out with us for a week-end, play with the twins.

KATARINA

I’d love to. Haven’t seen them – or Beth! – since your wedding. How old are they now?

SHIRIN

Almost three. They’re completely impossible, but – lucky for them! – adorable.

KATARINA

(smiles) I can imagine.

SHIRIN

(gently) Are you… I know you gave up the idea of having kids, is that still where you’re at?

KATARINA

Yeah. I’ve closed that book. Other priorities. I mean, imagine if I’d had a kid that one time I *was* pregnant? Be tied to *that* asshole my whole life? (thinks) I don’t think I ever really wanted children, I just got caught up in fixing what was broken. It was probably best it turned out the way it did.

SHIRIN

Yeah. Definitely. So that’s not a factor for you and Andy?

KATARINA

No. We’ve talked about that part, at least. Neither of us want kids.

SHIRIN

All right, just the proposal to deal with then.

KATARINA

Yeah. Or, rather, the “Where is our relationship going?” thing. He’s not setting ultimatums, he just… wants to know.

SHIRIN

That’s fair enough.

KATARINA

Yeah.

SHIRIN

So. What do *you* want?

KATARINA

(sighs) I was sort of hoping to just… go on like we have been. Andy is amazing. I’ve never been with anyone like him. He’s really laidback but he has such integrity, you know? A lot of the men I’ve dated – especially those I’ve met through work – get weird about my job. Either I’m more successful than they are, and they get insecure, or it’s the other way around, and they don’t take my work seriously. With Andy, none of that matters. It’s been such a relief to come here, to Boston, and sink into his couch and his arms for the week-end and hear all about the office intrigue at MIT. Feels real, you know? No spectacle or illusion, just life. (sighs) Though no matter where I live or who I date there will always be an element of long-distance. (beat) As long as I am still getting cast in movies, anyway.

SHIRIN

You think that will stop?

KATARINA

My agent says it will probably peter out. I’m 35, Shirin, not quite the ingenue anymore.

SHIRIN

You’re in your 30s, you’re still young! But I get it. Hollywood standards of beauty and youth, all that rubbish.

KATARINA

Some of my peers are going for TV gigs instead, and it makes sense – if you get a syndicated hit show, you get to stay in one place, and have steady employment for – hopefully! – multiple seasons. But I enjoy the variety of different films, and I like to do indie productions when I get a chance… I don’t know. Oh shit, Shirin, this is turning into some sort of life crisis. What do I want to do? What do I want my life to be? (frustrated laugh)

SHIRIN

Sounds like you don’t want to pursue a TV job.

KATARINA

(sighs) You are right. I don’t. I probably *should* but I don’t want to.

SHIRIN

And it sounds like you want to be with Andy.

KATARINA

I do!

SHIRIN

You just don’t want to say I do.

KATARINA

(laughs) True! You make it all sound so simple.

SHIRIN

(smiles) I get that it’s complicated, but… Your feelings don’t seem very conflicted here. You know what you want. You just need to be honest with Andy about it. Maybe you can figure out a compromise.

KATARINA

Yeah.

SHIRIN

See? Sorted.

KATARINA

Easy-peasy.

SHIRIN

That’s what I’m here for.

KATARINA

Thank you! (beat) Now, enough about me, I want to hear all about this project you are in town for. You’re working with the MFA, is that right?

SHIRIN

Well not yet – have to win the bid first. But, yeah, we’re meeting them this afternoon. They’re opening their new contemporary wing this year and are looking to overhaul their whole visual identity. It’s a really challenging-

(Fade out)

Scene 5.4

EXT. Early evening, city street outside restaurant. KATARINA is waiting for ANDY, she is pacing.

KATARINA

(hums Adele’s ‘Rolling in the Deep’, the tune that includes “We could have had it all”, stops, sighs, murmurs, in Swedish) Äh, det är jag som är tidig. (deep breath) OK. Be cool. (slight nervous laugh) Cool Kat… Ina… Cool Ina…

ANDY

(slow footsteps) Ina. (EE-na)

KATARINA

Andy. (smiles) There you are.

ANDY

Here I am.

KATARINA

(same time as ANDY)

Do you want to-

ANDY

(same time as KATARINA)

I was thinking we-

(BOTH laugh nervously)

KATARINA

(same time as ANDY)

Say what-

ANDY

(same time as KATARINA)

You go-

(BOTH laugh even more nervously)

ANDY

Go ahead.

KATARINA

No, you.

ANDY

(smiles) I was thinking maybe we could walk and talk? Unless you’re really hungry?

KATARINA

(smiles) I was going to suggest the same thing.

(BOTH start walking)

ANDY

Great minds and all that.

KATARINA

Yeah.

(They walk in silence for a little while, end up by the water)

KATARINA

I was thinking-

ANDY

Wait. Before you say anything. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking since last night. I don’t- I would love to marry you, if you’ll have me, and live with you, if you want, but also… I don’t want any of that to put pressure on you. I want you to be happy, and, if I can be a part of your life and part of making you happy, I want to do that, but if not… I will be OK with that. I get that your life is pretty complicated.

KATARINA

It is, but… Can we sit? (BOTH sit on bench) I don’t… (gently) I’ve never wanted to get married. I was engaged once, long ago, got caught up in the romance of it… It was a really bad idea. And yes, my work means I am away a lot, and if we lived together, I think I would be more concerned about that.

ANDY

I get that.

KATARINA

To me, commitment is what we decide it is. You and I, in this relationship. It’s no-one else’s concern. (gently) I… I don’t believe in marriage. And I don’t believe you need it to be happy.

ANDY

(beat, slowly) Well, I definitely know a lot of married couples who are unhappy.

KATARINA

Me too. And happy ones, too, of course, but…

ANDY

So… what do *you* want? (slight laugh) Guess I should have asked that before buying a ring.

KATARINA

Can you take it back?

ANDY

Yeah.

KATARINA

So, what I want… I really like our relationship the way it is right now. Where we each have a home to welcome the other into. And where we make sure to spend time together, but where we also know that we are OK apart. Since I met you… you are always the first person I want to tell when something happens, good, bad, (smiles) silly… There is an… ease that I’ve never experienced before.

ANDY

(smiles) I think I know what you mean. (more serious, thinking as he speaks) So basically you want to stay as we are?

KATARINA

Yes. Would that work for you?

ANDY

(thinks) Yeah. It would. (smiles) I’d like that a lot.

KATARINA

(joyful) You would?

ANDY

(joyful) I would. (thinks) I think I got caught up in… the idea of ‘catching’ you, as Marie from last night would say.

(KATARINA laughs)

ANDY

(continues) But I agree with you. *We* make our relationship and it doesn’t concern anyone else.

KATARINA

(smiles) I’m so happy.

ANDY

(smiles) Would it be OK if we broke the no-PDA-rule just this once?

Kat

(happy laugh, looks around) Well, I don’t *see* any paparazzi, so…

(They kiss, then both laugh small happy laughs)

(Fade out)

Scene 5.5

NARRATOR

Thank you for listening to Y2K: Take 2. This episode was written and directed by Karin Heimdahl with sound design by Tal Minear. Our intro and outro music is created and recorded by Jake Haws, listen to his podcast “Making Music with Jake Haws” to hear more. This episode featured Janis Westin as Ina[slash]Kat, Bailey C. Elis as Andy, Anjali Kunapaneni as Shirin, Shannon Perry as Marie and Harlan Guthrie as Eric the fan. The drama school director was Sarah Golding, and the narrator Emma Laslett. For more information, please go to Y2Kpod.com or find us on social media @Y2Kpod If you enjoy the show, please consider supporting us on Patreon.com/Y2Kpod Please join us again next month when we meet Rachel in 2003.

DIRECTOR

(claps hands) All right, thank you everyone. That’s a wrap for today!

(MUSIC “Welcome to the Year 2000” – instrumental)

Episode 6: Rachel – age 32 – Trollhättan – June 2003

Scene 6.0

DIRECTOR

Places, please. We’ll try again everyone. Right. Whenever you’re ready – Take 2.

(MUSIC “Welcome to the Year 2000”)

NARRATOR

Episode 6. Welcome to the year 2003. June. Trollhättan, Sweden. Rachel is 32 years old.

Scene 6.1

(INT. Car on highway. Evening. KATARINA is driving, JESS is in passenger seat, RACHEL and baby OLIVIA (age 2.5) are in the back seat. KATARINA and JESS are talking in low voices. We are closer to RACHEL.)

RACHEL
(OLIVIA whines softly, says softly to OLIVIA) Shh, Liv, it’s all right…

JESS

Can’t believe you’re driving now, Ina! Thought you said it would never happen.

KATARINA

(smiles) It never would have if I hadn’t *had to* for work.

JESS

Still can’t believe they made you get an actual driver’s license, don’t they have special effects of something?

KATARINA

Think it was an insurance thing.

JESS

Yeah, OK. (subdued excitement) Oh, I remember that camping place, we must be almost in Trollhättan, right?

KATARINA

(low voice) Yeah. Can’t believe you remember that, Jess, must have been, what – five years ago?

JESS

(smiles) Something like that. It’s great to be back in Sweden, finally!

KATARINA

(teasing) Took you long enough – and a new law – to get you back!

JESS

(laughs, excited) Yes! We can finally get married! (to RACHEL) I’m so excited, Rachel!

RACHEL

(half-asleep) What was that, love?

KATARINA

(concerned) Are we being too loud, Rachel?

RACHEL

(softly) No, it’s all right, Liv’s completely knocked out after the flight. (small yawn) Think I almost fell asleep too.

JESS
Think you did. Don’t blame you! Guess *I’m* just wired.

RACHEL

(smiles) Yeah. Riding that organizing high…

JESS

Yes! I still can’t believe this is actually happening – and that so many of our friends were able to make it. (beat) Are they still behind us?

KATARINA

(beat, teasing) Yep. But my mother does know the way to her own house, you know.

(Soft laugh from RACHEL)

JESS
(distracted, checking her notebook) I know. Let’s see… Emma and Shirin are flying in tomorrow, and Shirin’s guy… You are picking them up in the afternoon, their arrivals are only an hour apart, but Shirin says they can wait… So, you need to be there by 2 pm, Kat, all right?

KATARINA

OK. (gently) We have been over this already.

JESS

I know, just double-checking. I really wish they could all fly in directly to Fyrstad, all this driving time… Oh! Yes – is your new boyfriend coming or not?

KATARINA

(smiles) He is! He’s taking the train down from Oslo. Or was it a bus maybe? Anyway, he’ll be here tomorrow around noon.

JESS

Does he need to be picked up from somewhere?

KATARINA

(hasn’t thought about this) No, he can walk to our house from the station.

JESS

(distracted) Great. All right, adding boyfriend back in… Morten, right?

KATARINA

(smiles) Yes.

JESS

Refiguring the seating chart… It’s only 20 guests – 21 now – but it still needs to be right, you know?

RACHEL

I look forward to meeting him.

KATARINA

Yeah. It’s still quite new. Met when I was filming in Stavanger. He’s a steadicam operator. I like him.

(Exits highway for smaller road)

RACHEL

Suppose he understands your job then.

KATARINA

Yeah. Workplace romance. Trite, I suppose. (slight laugh)

(slows down, turns into residential area)

RACHEL

No, I think it’s nice. So many people meet through work. You spend so much time there, there’s bound to be sparks flying sometimes.

KATARINA

Yeah. You’re right.

JESS

Did you get the napkins I ordered?

KATARINA

(slight laugh) I don’t know, we put everything you ordered in a big pile in the basement, I didn’t dare open anything.

(RACHEL laughs)

JESS

Oh. (makes note) All right, that works.

(turns onto driveway, car stops)

KATARINA

We’re here. (Pulls parking brake)

(seatbelts being unfastened, OLIVIA starts whining, KATARINA and JESS get out of the car and close their doors, JESS footsteps around car, KATARINA to house, climbs outdoor stairs, unlocks and opens front door during following)

RACHEL

(very softly) Hey Liv, it’s all right, mama’s here (carseat belt unsnapping, RACHEL pulls OLIVIA to her, OLIVIA whines, other car pulls up and parks nearby, MAIA, BRI, TIA and KIRSTEN get out, boot is opened, bags start getting unloaded during following)

 (Two parallel conversations going on here, one in background, one in foreground)

KIRSTEN

(distant) Let me help you with that-

JESS

(opens car door for RACHEL) You two all right on your own? I need to go check everything.

MAIA

(distant) I’ve got this-

RACHEL

We’ll be fine.

MAIA

(distant, continues) -you can grab the garment bags maybe?

(JESS walks quickly toward house, RACHEL gets out of car with OLIVIA, closes car door carefully)

RACHEL

Oh! Actually, could you-

TIA

(distant) I’ve got them!

RACHEL

(small sigh) Right. (OLIVIA whines, RACHEL bounces her gently) Shh, everything’s all right.

KIRSTEN

(distant) OK, I’ll carry this one.

(Car 2 boot closed)

BRI

(walking up, softly) Hey Rachel. Need anything?

RACHEL

(tired smile) Could you take Liv, please? I have to grab some stuff.

BRI

Course. (takes OLIVIA, who whines a little, starts bouncing her gently, speaks very softly) Hey Liv, it’s all right, auntie Bri (Bree) is here.

(RACHEL opens boot of car 1 and starts rummaging in bags)

MAIA

(passes with bags, low voice) Everything all right?

BRI

(gently) Yes. (smiles) Think Liv’s asleep again.

TIA

(passes with garment bags, smiles, low voice) We’ll be quiet as mice.

(MAIA and TIA walk to house)

KIRSTEN

(comes up with bag, smiles) So sweet. (to RACHEL) Let me take that for you. (takes garment bags)

RACHEL

Thank you. (Grabs other bags, closes car boot 1 gently) You all right carrying Liv, Bri (Bree)?

BRI

(smiles) Yeah, of course.

RACHEL

(small tired sigh) All right, let’s go in.

(RACHEL, BRI carrying OLIVIA and KIRSTEN walk toward house)

KIRSTEN

I’ve made up a bed for you and Jessica in my study, with a mattress for Olivia, so you can go straight to bed if you like, you must be exhausted…

(Fade out)

Scene 6.2

(INT. Kirsten’s house. Morning. Faint voices of JESS and KIRSTEN and bustle from kitchen. RACHEL yawns, opens door of study and walks into kitchen.)

JESS

(high energy) Morning! My beautiful bride-to-be! (quick kiss) I have to run – Kirsten and I are picking up the flowers.

KIRSTEN

There’s coffee in the pot, Katarina will show you.

JESS
All right, let’s go! (puts on shoes, grabs purse) Rache, can you help Ina with the napkins?

RACHEL

(sleepy and confused) Sure.

KIRSTEN

(as she is putting on shoes) For breakfast – have whatever you like from the fridge.

JESS

(opens front door, yells on her way out) Just don’t touch the wedding food! Love you!

(KIRSTEN and JESS leave, door closes)

RACHEL

(quietly) Love you.

(KATARINA comes walking up the stairs, humming Beyonce’s ‘Crazy in Love’, carrying a box)

KATARINA

(stops humming, smiles) Good morning Rachel. You all right?

RACHEL

I… Where is everyone? (suddenly stressed) Where is Liv?

KATARINA

Bri (Bree) took her out in the stroller. Don’t worry! (beat) Maia and Tia are picking up the cake.

RACHEL

(confused) Won’t that- They don’t speak Swedish.

KATARINA

Eh. Everyone speaks English, they’ll be fine. (beat) And you met Jess and my mother on their way out.

RACHEL

Yeah. Jess said something about napkins?

KATARINA

(small laugh) Here they are! (starts walking toward kitchen) Come get some breakfast first.

RACHEL

(follows KATARINA) Thank you.

KATARINA

(sets down box on counter) Coffee?

RACHEL

Yes please! (sits down on high stool by counter)

KATARINA

(takes out mug, pours coffee) Milk?

RACHEL

Black is fine.

KATARINA

(sets down mug in front of RACHEL) Did you sleep all right?

RACHEL

(about to say yes) Ye- No. I really didn’t. (small laugh) Jetlag and Liv being restless… Probably why I slept in. (sips coffee)

KATARINA
No wonder! You must be completely lost in time. Twelve hours time difference is a lot…

RACHEL

Yeah. (smiles) Jess doesn’t seem affected, though.

KATARINA

Oh, she’s running on pure adrenaline.

RACHEL

(laughs) You’re right. She’s going to crash so hard when it’s all over.

KATARINA

(smiles) Yes. (smiles) But you’ll have a few days to rest up after the wedding… Speaking of Jess, I should get started on those napkins. And we should get *you* some breakfast. (walks over to fridge, opens it) What would you like? We have some cinnamon buns that I got for Jess. Or we have cereal, muesli, yoghurt, milk, juice, toast, jam, cheese, fruit, um, there is bacon and eggs, too, if you like?

RACHEL

(queasy from lack of sleep, slight grunt) Um, I think coffee’s enough for now. Maybe later?

KATARINA

(closes fridge) Of course! Why don’t you just sit there with your coffee and keep me company while I fold?

RACHEL

I can help.

KATARINA

(laughs) Jess would tear us both to shreds if we got coffee stains on these! (sits down on high stool by counter next to RACHEL)

RACHEL

(smiles) You’re right. (sips coffee)

KATARINA

(gets out pile of napkins and a piece of paper, starts slowly folding while checking instructions, mumbles in Swedish) Ett till tre och fyra till…

RACHEL

(sips coffee) Looks complicated.

KATARINA

(still folding, distracted) Mm. I’m getting there. Jess wants the napkins to look like butterflies, and she found these instructions online, but I haven’t tried them before… (makes two more folds, holds up butterfly napkin) Ah! There! See?

RACHEL

Oh, that is beautiful! (beat) I love butterflies.

KATARINA

That’s probably why.

RACHEL

(touched) Yeah. I- (beat) I haven’t been that involved in the planning. It all happened so quickly, and I was busy with Liv, and work…

KATARINA

(folding next napkin, quicker now) Jess kind of ran with the planning, huh?

RACHEL

Yes. (smiles) She’s really good at organizing.

KATARINA

(folding) She is. But she can be a bit of a… (stops folding) steamroller? Is that the right word?

RACHEL

(slight laugh) Yes. That *is* the right word. (sighs) Jess figured out that we *could* get married in Sweden, and your mum offered to host the wedding, and I said that sounded great, and all of a sudden there’s a date and plane tickets and guests and an officiant and crates of champagne and… (short barking laugh) butterfly napkins. I guess I haven’t quite caught up, that’s all.

KATARINA

(gently) Makes sense. You should go for a walk or something, to… catch up with yourself, maybe?

RACHEL

(smiles) That sounds great. I’ll help you with the napkins first, though! (drinks the last sip of coffee and puts mug further away on counter, takes napkin from pile) Can you show me?

KATARINA

Absolutely. (takes napkin from pile, starts showing RACHEL) So you start here, and then… Yes, that’s right. And then you turn it over – no, other way, there, and-

RACHEL

(at the same time, folding) Oh!…. OK… (slight laugh)… Right.

(During previous, footsteps up outdoor stairs, knock on front door, door opens)

MORTEN

(in Norwegian, distant) Noen hjemme? Ina?

(RACHEL gets up and refills coffee mug, sips)

KATARINA
(happy but surprised) Morten! (gets up, walks quickly to front door, quick kiss, distant, in Swedish) Hej! Jag trodde du skulle komma vid 12?

MORTEN

(distant, in Norwegian) Jeg savnet deg. Kan jeg gå å legge meg? Jeg sov ikke i går natt.

KATARINA

(distant, in Swedish, surprised) Javisst, men kom och träffa Rachel först.

MORTEN

(distant, in Norwegian, reluctant) OK.

(KATARINA and MORTEN walk over to kitchen)

KATARINA

Everyone else is out doing errands, but this is Rachel, one of the brides-to-be. Rachel, this is Morten, my boyfriend.

RACHEL

(warmly) Nice to meet you.

MORTEN

(uncomfortable) OK.

KATARINA

So why didn’t you sleep last night?

MORTEN

Diablo II.

KATARINA
O-K… Well, you’d better get some sleep now. Come along. (to RACHEL) Rachel, you could have some breakfast if you want?

RACHEL

Thanks, I think I will.

(KATARINA and MORTEN walk to guest room, close door behind them. RACHEL opens fridge)

RACHEL

(mutters) Milk, milk… where’s the milk? (picks up carton, reads)

“mjölk” maybe?

(During previous, footsteps up outdoor stairs, door bursts open, BRI runs in carrying OLIVIA.)

BRI

(stressed) Right, Liv, here’s the toilet, let me help you- Yikes! (small giggle from OLIVIA, calls) Jess? Rache? Need some help in here!

RACHEL

(replaces carton, closes fridge quickly, very small sigh) I’m coming! (walks quickly toward WC)

BRI

Grab some towels! No, Liv, wait-

(Cut)

Scene 6.3

(INT. Kirsten’s bedroom, late morning. Sound of people bustling in other parts of the house. RACHEL is standing in front of a mirror fiddling with her hair. MAIA and TIA are looking out the open window at the garden spot where the wedding ceremony will take place.)

TIA

Such a beautiful day for a wedding!

MAIA

Yes! I love that flower-arch-thing now it’s up.

TIA

(laughs) Well it was a pain to set up, but looks very sturdy now, thanks to you. (beat) Oh, look, some guest are starting to arrive!

MAIA

Wow, they’re… 40 minutes early.

RACHEL

(stressed) What? Already?

MAIA

No worries, Rachel. (slight laugh) They seem happy enough to just sit in the sun.

RACHEL

(stressed) All right. Better close that window, though.

MAIA

Sure. (closes window)

TIA

(happy) Maia, I love this! Everyone’s so happy!

MAIA

(smiles) Yeah. It’s a good energy.

TIA

(low voice) Maybe we should think about it too?

MAIA

(smiles) Tia. Are you proposing to me after eight years?

TIA

(smiles) And what if I am?

MAIA

Well, what if I accepted?

TIA

We would have to live happily ever after!

MAIA

I like that plan.

RACHEL

(hasn’t been listening, frustrated, throws brush on table) Argh. Bloody hair.

TIA

You need help, Rachel?

RACHEL

(stressed) Yes!

MAIA

Want me to get-

RACHEL

(interrupts, stressed) No, she’s helping Jess.

TIA

I can give it a go.

RACHEL

(stressed) Thank you. It keeps sticking up, right there.

(TIA takes a few steps over to RACHEL, MAIA sits down on bed)

TIA

(fiddles with hair, a little hairspray) There. Is that better?

RACHEL

(stressed, looks in mirror, surprised) Yes. (stressed smile) Thanks, Tia. Right. Think I’m done. Do I look all right?

TIA

(teary-eyed with joy) You look wonderful, Rachel.

MAIA

(teary-eyed with joy) Absolutely radiant.

RACHEL

(stressed) I can’t get my necklace right, it keeps going crooked. (fiddles with necklace)

TIA

Your necklace is perfect.

MAIA

(concerned) It is. Are *you* all right?

RACHEL

I-

(knock on door, KIRSTEN pops head in, excited and rushed) Rachel! The officiant is here! (small giggle) She’s carrying a a plastic grocery bag for some reason, but who cares? Thirty minutes ‘til ‘I do’! (closes door, footsteps to study)

MAIA

(calls) OK, thanks.

(RACHEL starts pacing back and forth)

KIRSTEN

(distant, opens study door) Jess! The officiant is here!

JESS

(distant, happy but rushed) Great! Did you move those yellow flowers?

KIRSTEN

(distant) I’ll do it now! Thirty minutes to go!

KATARINA

(calls, distant) Thanks! (to JESS) Sit still, Jess! I’m not done- (rest of sentence is muffled and unintelligible)

(KIRSTEN closes door again)

TIA
Rachel. Is something wrong? (sits down on chair)

MAIA

Come sit.

RACHEL

(sits down on bed next to MAIA, stressed) I… I don’t know. I’m just so… (doesn’t know how to continue)

MAIA

Hey, it’s all right. We’re here.

TIA

Whatever it is, we will help you. (smiles) Need a getaway car?

(RACHEL laughs a little)

MAIA

(smiles) We could whisk you away right now, no-one would ever know!

RACHEL

(smiles) Thank you. I- (beat) I am so glad you two are here (almost in tears)

TIA

(serious) Of course. We couldn’t *not* be here.

MAIA

(serious) We’re family.

(RACHEL starts to cry)

TIA

You know you can tell us anything.

MAIA

Want me to get Jess?

RACHEL

(emphasis) No! I- (can’t get the rest out, small sob)

TIA

(gently) OK.

MAIA

(gently) Is something wrong with you and Jess?

(RACHEL sobs, can’t get words out)

TIA

We’re in your corner, all right?

(knock on door, BRI pops head in)

BRI

Could one of you take Olivia for a bit? I need to touch up my make-up. (OLIVIA giggling, running in corridor, BRI turns, calls) Liv! Stay- (slight groan, then runs after OLIVIA)

TIA

(gets up) I’ll go. I’ll tell them to leave you two alone until the ceremony. OK?

BRI

(distant) Don’t run away from your auntie Bri (Bree)! (lifts OLIVIA up high in the air, she giggles) Wheee!

MAIA

Yeah. Thank you, love.

(TIA walks to door, closes it, walks down corridor)

TIA

(distant, smiles) Hi Liv! I’ve got you. Let’s go look at the pretty flowers! (OLIVIA giggles, footsteps to outside, front door is open)

BRI

(distant) Thanks, Tia! (distant footsteps to study, door opening)

JESS

(distant, bappy and rushed) Bri (Bree)! Did you- (rest of sentence is muffled and unintelligible as door closes)

MAIA

(deep breath) All right. Rachel. I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me.

RACHEL
(deep shaky breath) I don’t know! (small sob) I’m so stressed, and this is all such a… production… And Jess is so (voice breaks) excited (big sob).

MAIA

Sounds like you are very stressed. Have you been sleeping?

RACHEL

No! Bloody jetlag! (laugh-sob)

MAIA

Yeah. It’s been rough for me too, but I don’t have a two-year-old.

RACHEL

(sighs) Liv’s been… not sleeping. And I’ve been the one waking up, mostly. Still, she’s doing much better than me. I… Maia, I feel so lost! (small sob)

MAIA

Aw, come here. (rustle of sitting-down side-hug) You are sleep-deprived in a new country in a house packed with people you don’t know trying to take care of a child while organizing a wedding. No wonder you feel lost. I think anyone would.

RACHEL

(laugh-sob) You have a point.

MAIA

(gently) Are you and Jess having problems?

RACHEL

(beat) No. Not really. She’s so caught up in all *this* that she can’t talk about anything else, but… That will pass. (small sob)

MAIA

It will. (beat) You still love Jess?

RACHEL

Of course.

MAIA

And do you want to marry her?

RACHEL

(beat) Yes. But. (sob) Not like this. It doesn’t feel like *me*.

MAIA

All right. (beat) Do you want me to call it off?

RACHEL

No! That would- I don’t want to hurt Jess like that.

MAIA

OK. That means doing a Runaway Bride is out too.

RACHEL

(shaky smile) Yes. Awful film.

MAIA

It is. (gently) So what are we going to do?

RACHEL

I- I always pictured us getting married on the beach. In jandals and shorts, maybe a BBQ, you know, casual. And (voice breaks) my family would be there. (sob)

MAIA

Yeah. Shame none of them could make it.

RACHEL

They really tried, but it was kind of short notice, and- (voice breaks) I thought I was OK with that, but… (small voice) I just want my mama. (cries)

MAIA

(compassionate) Of course you do. I’m so sorry, Rachel.

RACHEL

(shaky) Yeah. Thanks.

MAIA

(thinks) How about this. You and Jess marry today, in all your finery, and with the butterfly napkins, and the seating plan, and the fine champagne, and the corsages, and the who-knows-what, and *then* you tell Jess that you want a BBQ wedding on the beach back home in Auckland with all your friends and family this summer?

RACHEL

(beat) Yes. I would love that. We could skip the ceremony and go straight for the party!

MAIA

And the best part is, I get to go to both!

RACHEL

(small laugh) That is perfect. (deep breath) Thank you Maia. It was all muddled in my head and I couldn’t figure out why I was so miserable.

MAIA

You are most welcome. And if you change your mind, there’s always that getaway car!

(BOTH laugh)

RACHEL

Good to know. (beat) I must look a mess. (gets up, walks to mirror)

MAIA

You look wonderful.

RACHEL

Just a little tear-stained. Or a lot.(opens small jar, dabs on concealer)

MAIA

Eh. Everyone cries on their wedding day. Practically mandatory.

RACHEL

(smiles) Well, good thing I got that out of the way then. (pats on some powder, turns to MAIA) There. How’s that?

MAIA

Perfect.

(knock on door)

TIA

(subdued) It’s me, Tia. Can I come in?

MAIA

Yes!

TIA

(opens door, a little uncertain) They want you out there in five minutes Rachel. Are you ready?

RACHEL

(smiles) Yes. Yes I am.

(Cut)

Scene 6.4

(INT. Hotel room, very late at night. RACHEL and JESS are just opening the door with a key card that beeps, and are walking in, elated, giggling and a little bit tipsy.)

RACHEL

-speech was so beautiful.

JESS

It was. I mean, she is a pro, but she made me cry all the happy tears. (starts taking out pins and flowers from hair)

RACHEL

Her new boyfriend, though… (sits down on bed)

JESS

(laughs) Yeah. Bit weird, right?

RACHEL

Did you see him during dinner? (takes off necklace)

JESS

No!

RACHEL

He was snoring! Had to poke him! Multiple times!

(BOTH laugh)

JESS
I don’t think she’s serious about him.

RACHEL

No. She’ll be all right. (takes off shoes, sigh of relief) Great to be out of these shoes!

JESS

(smiles) Yeah, my feet are certainly feeling all of that dancing. (takes off shoes) Shirin’s guy seemed nice, though.

RACHEL

Bit quiet, but yeah, nice.

JESS
And Emma’s got a new job in TV, she was super excited.

RACHEL

I hardly got to talk to her, that is great! Do you think Liv’s all right? (brushes hair)

JESS

By now I think she is fast asleep after way too much candy.

RACHEL

(laughs) You are probably right. Bri (Bree) spoils her rotten.

JESS

As is her auntly privilege.

RACHEL

(smiles) Absolutely. Oh! Did you hear? Maia and Tia are planning a wedding too!

JESS

Wait, how did I miss this wonderful news? (takes off jewelry)

RACHEL

Apparently they decided when we were getting ready, I was too wrapped up in myself to notice.

JESS

I love that. Another wedding to go to!

RACHEL

Yes! They’re skipping the legal stuff so it’ll be in Auckland somewhere.

JESS

(joins RACHEL on bed) So much happiness.

RACHEL

And us.

JESS

And us. I am so lucky to be married to you. (They kiss)

RACHEL

Feel like I’m the lucky one. (wry smile) Can’t believe I almost didn’t go through with it.

JESS

(oblivious) With what, love?

RACHEL

The wedding.

JESS

(shocked) What-

(Cut)

Scene 6.5

NARRATOR

Thank you for listening to Y2K: Take 2. This episode was written and directed by Karin Heimdahl with sound design by Emmett Moon. Our intro and outro music is created and recorded by Jake Haws, listen to his podcast “Making Music with Jake Haws” to hear more. This episode featured Felicity Boyd as Rachel, Shekendra Morgan as Maia, Janis Westin as Kat[slash]Ina (EE-na), Karin Heimdahl as Jess, Sam Yeow as Tia, Charlotte Norup as Kirsten, Lorcan Annie Sherry as Bri (Bree) and Dan Frøskeland as Morten. The drama school director was Sarah Golding, and the narrator Emma Laslett. For more information, please go to Y2Kpod.com or find us on social media @Y2Kpod If you enjoy the show, please consider supporting us on Patreon.com/Y2Kpod Please join us again next month when we meet Tammi in 2018.

DIRECTOR

(claps hands) All right, thank you everyone. That’s a wrap for today!

(MUSIC “Welcome to the Year 2000” – instrumental)

Episode 7: Tammi – age 19 – Paris – July 2018

Scene 7.0

DIRECTOR

Places, please. We’ll try again everyone. Right. Whenever you’re ready – Take 2.

(MUSIC “Welcome to the Year 2000” – instrumental)

NARRATOR

Episode 7. Welcome to the year 2018. Paris, France. Tammi is 19 years old.

Scene 7.1

(INT. Tammi’s bedroom, she is asleep. Rushed footsteps, door opens, HEATHER enters)

HEATHER

(rushed) Rise and shine, Tammi! (opens blind at speed)

TAMMI

(sleepy and angry) What?

HEATHER

(cheerful) You’ve got mail! (throws letters to TAMMI in bed) You really have to decide on college this week, you’re already overdue on some of the offers.

TAMMI

(mutters) S’early. Go away.

HEATHER

Not happening. We’ve let you have *weeks* of staying up all night and sleeping in all day, it really is time you start seeing some daylight.

TAMMI

(whines) But it hurts my eyes…

HEATHER

(laughs) You are turning into a vampire, Tammi! C’mon, get up!

TAMMI

Moooooom!

HEATHER

College! Now!

TAMMI

(grumpily sits up) It’s called university.

HEATHER

(laughs) Whatever it’s called, pick one! And let them know!

TAMMI

(pulls on sweatpants, stands up, affectionately) I hate you.

HEATHER

(on her way out, cheerful) Hate you too! I have to run – see you tonight! (quick footsteps)

MAGNUS

(distant, calls) Heather! You have time for pancakes before you go?

HEATHER

(distant, calls) Sorry darling, have to run!

MAGNUS

(distant, calls) OK, have a good day, love you!

HEATHER

(distant, calls) Love you! (apartment front door opens and closes, distant steps in hallway)

TAMMI

(sits down on bed again, groans, lies back down) Ahhhh…

(hurried steps back, front door opens, hurried steps to other room)

HEATHER

(distant, calls) Hi again darlings, it’s just me, forgot my briefcase! (in TAMMI’s doorway) Don’t go back to sleep again, Tammi, OK? (off again)

TAMMI

(sits back up) I’m up. (beat) I’m up…

(quick footsteps, apartment front closes, distant steps in hallway)

TAMMI

(sighs) Ugh. (gathers up pile of letters from bed and stuffs them into her bag, mutters sleepily) Deal with these later… (groans, lies back down) Ahhhh…

MAGNUS

(distant, calls, cheerful) Tammi! Pancakes!

TAMMI

(sits back up) Ugh.

MAGNUS

(distant, calls) Tammi?

TAMMI

(slowly gets up and starts walking out of room, still tired, calls) Coming, dad!

(Fade out)

Scene 7.2

EXT. City café outdoor seating. Early evening. TAMMI, LOU and PUCK are drinking beer and talking. Murmured conversations in background (French), some traffic nearby.

TAMMI

-and then I cast Enlarge on our Paladin so *they* could fight the giant and said ‘don’t embarrass yourself in front of the wizards’!

(ALL laugh)

PUCK

Tammi! Why didn’t I think of that?

LOU

It’s genius. It’s kind of like when you cast reduce on that volcano, Puck!

TAMMI

(laughs) Tiny lava so cute!

PUCK

(smiles) Ah, you flatter me Lou.

LOU

Only when you deserve it. (sighs) Can’t believe high school is over.

PUCK

R.I.P Dragonfire Siblinghood?

TAMMI

No! We’ll still play! We’ve got weeks left this summer, and there’ll be holidays when we’ll all be back here, and… Discord! People play on Discord!

LOU

That is actually a brilliant idea. (gets out their phone, clicks) Create new server… OK… ‘Dragonfire Siblinghood’… Yes… OK… OK… There we go. Done and dusted.

PUCK

Perfect. The sun will shine on us again!

(LOU and TAMMI laugh)

TAMMI

Yay!(sighs)

PUCK

You OK, Tammi?

TAMMI

My mom ’s on my case again.

LOU

University?

TAMMI

Oh yeah. (sighs) Apparently I cannot spend the rest of my life sleeping. (sips)

LOU

(small smile) Well that is just unreasonable.

TAMMI

That’s what *I* said.

PUCK

Same for me. Part of my morning routine. Get yelled at about the future at 7 am, check. Go back to sleep at 7.15. Check.

TAMMI

(at the same time as last word) Check!

(ALL laugh a little)

TAMMI

Ugh. Wish they would stop obsessing so much about our futures.

PUCK

Yeah. Don’t they get that after – what is it? – twelve years of school we are TIRED?

LOU

Longer – I started when I was five!

TAMMI

Oh, yeah, you start early in Canada. I was six, I think. So thirteen years – fourteen for you!

PUCK

(dramatically) I can’t even *remember* how many years I’ve spent in school.

(TAMMI and LOU laugh)

PUCK

(continues, smiles) Well. No wonder we’re exhausted.

LOU

Well. (sheepishly) I know where I’m going now.

TAMMI

(same time as PUCK) What?

PUCK

(same time as TAMMI) Where?

LOU

(sighs) My dads made me decide yesterday. I’m staying right here. (sips)

TAMMI

(in French) Sciences Po?

LOU

Yup.

PUCK

(whistles) You really are faking this whole slacker thing you know, Lou!

LOU

(smiles) I can be multi-faceted.

PUCK

(smiles) Fair enough. (beat) You feel OK about it?

LOU

I suppose. (sighs) Oh, it’ll be fascinating, and I’ll learn a lot, and get a great job once I’m done et cetera, but… So much *work*.

PUCK

From that place – you could be president of France one day. You want that?

LOU

(doubtful) Maybe? Or just a diplomat in a quiet corner somewhere. Like your mom, Tammi.

TAMMI

Yeah. Not sure I’d describe Paris as a quiet corner, though! (sips)

LOU

That’s true. (thinks) Ugh. We should have organized a gap year or something.

TAMMI

Yes – a gap year of DnD, drinking beer and sleeping late – you think there’s a program for that?

PUCK

(laughs) There should be! That would be the best gap year ever!

LOU

(laughs) It would!

TAMMI

And the only task would be to write and run a year-long campaign.

PUCK

Yes!

LOU

And no dusty lecture halls – *this* would be our HQ!

TAMMI

Perfect! (laughs a little, then sighs) Instead I have to decide which of these dull universities to attend…

PUCK

It might have helped if we’d been more serious when we applied.

LOU

It all felt so distant, then. Like a hazy dream.

TAMMI

Yeah.

PUCK

And now we’re here… Ugh. (sips)

LOU

Unfortunately. (beat) All right. I am going to help you two. (takes out their phone) Let’s make a list.

TAMMI

(doubtful) A list of what?

LOU

Let’s start with you, Tammi. What choices do you have left?

(TAMMI sighs)

PUCK

(sips) You said your mother threw a bunch of letters at you this morning.

TAMMI

Yeah. (sighs, digs in her bag, brings out a stack of envelopes) Now what?

LOU

Open them.

TAMMI

Do I have to?

LOU

How else will you find out what’s in them?

PUCK
Mind meld?

TAMMI

(laughs a little) I wish…

LOU

Tammi.

TAMMI

(sighs) Very well. (opens one, mutters) “Reply online by June 30th to secure your place…” (tosses aside) Too late for that one. (opens new letter) “We look forward to your acknowledgement by July 5th”, too late for that, too… (tosses aside, opens another) July 23rd, that could work… (puts on table, opens another) June 15th – ha! (tosses aside, opens another)… August – eons of time (puts on table, opens another) August again… (puts on table, opens another) June – nope (tosses aside, opens another) July 25th – OK (puts on table, opens another) and this one seems I responded to already… (puts on table)

PUCK

(wry smile) See? You did do *something*.

TAMMI

(slightly sarcastic) Yay me! (sips)

LOU

(grabs pile from table) Let’s see what we have here… (shuffles papers) D’accord… Flinders University… in… Adelaide… Australia, that’s cool.

TAMMI

I guess.

PUCK

Oh! (grabs paper from LOU) Canada! I’ve always wanted to go to Canada!

LOU

(smiles) You can come along when I visit my grandparents sometime.

PUCK

Yes please!

LOU

Deal. Where in Canada?

PUCK

(reads) University of (slight stumble) Saskatchewan. Mm.

LOU

Never been. Heard good things, though.

TAMMI

That’s good I guess. (sips)

PUCK

(keeps reading, a little surprised) Archeology?

TAMMI

(sheepishly) Yeah, so… I’d been watching a lot of Discovery Channel…

LOU

Oh… (surprised) And the Australian one is for (beat) Palaeontology? (shuffles papers again)

PUCK

What even is that?

LOU

Dinosaurs?

TAMMI

(more sheepishly) More or less. Again. Discovery Channel. Besides. I mean…  Dinosaurs are basically dragons without wings, right? Dragons are cool.

PUCK

They sure are. As are bowties.

(TAMMI laughs, PUCK and TAMMI clink glasses and sip)

LOU

(goes through papers, slightly distracted) Oh, absolutely. Here’s one in the UK… Birmingham… (paper rustles) Palaeontology and Geology…

PUCK

Where is Birmingham, exactly?

TAMMI

England somewhere.

PUCK

Hm. That could be good.

TAMMI

I guess.

LOU

(reading, papers rustling slightly) This one has an ‘International year’, whatever that means.

TAMMI

Year abroad somewhere I think. That could be fun?

PUCK

Yeah. (shuffles papers they’re holding) I’ve got another one (questioningly) University of (beat) Lund? Where’s that?

TAMMI

Sweden. (sighs)

LOU

Back to the father tongue? (doubtful) Is your Swedish good enough for that?

TAMMI

(small snort) Not sure. My dad wanted me to apply.

PUCK

Right. This one’s ‘Technical Geology’. Starting to see a pattern here.

TAMMI

(smiles) Yeah.

PUCK

(recites song lyric) ‘let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel’?

TAMMI

(laughs) Exactly!

LOU

(small laugh) And the final one iiiiiiiiiis (draws out word as they shuffle papers) right *here*. American University Paris. Hm. ‘Environmental Studies’. That’s a bit of an outlier.

TAMMI

My mom wanted me to have the choice of staying here. They didn’t have that many programs to choose from.

LOU

Unless you studied in French. You’d have a ton of options.

TAMMI

I know. My French is OK, but… Seems like even more work.

LOU

(admiringly) Queen of avoiding work, you are.

TAMMI

Hey! King, if I may.

LOU

Of course. Votre majesté.

(ALL laugh, they clink glasses)

TAMMI

Cheers. (sips)

PUCK

(sips, beat) OK. So to summarize: we’ve got rocks, ruins and dinosaurs, some of them in a  combo. Any we can eliminate right away?

TAMMI

Sweden.

LOU

All right. (puts one paper aside)

TAMMI

And… here, I think. 

(disappointed reaction from LOU) 

TAMMI

(continues) Much as I’d love to stay in the same city as you, Lou, I just don’t think I’d have fun at that school. Since I *have* to do this university thing I’d like to go somewhere new.

LOU

(pretend-sob, puts one paper aside, then smile) I get it. You’re leaving me here (jokingly dramatic) all alone….  

TAMMI

We haven’t tackled Puck’s list yet, maybe they’re staying here?

PUCK

Nope. Nothing on my *huge* long list of – (pretend-cough) two – options are in Paris.

LOU

(sighs) So I really will be all alone. I will miss you both so much.

TAMMI

(sighs) I will miss you too. But we’ll still hang out on Discord.

PUCK

We will. But… Aah. I don’t even want to think about it.

LOU

(new breath) So let’s not. Right. Canada, Australia or England. Pros and cons, go!

TAMMI

Um. Australia has the best weather of the three I think.

PUCK

Yeah, but also huge-ass spiders.

LOU

Ew. (beat) England’s nearby.

TAMMI

That a pro or a con?

LOU

(small laugh) Depends I suppose.

PUCK

Canada just seems so… interesting.

LOU

Thank you?

TAMMI

Agreed! Though pretty much everything I know is from you Lou, or watching ‘Frontier’, and that’s not exactly comprehensive.

LOU

(smiles) Also Frontier is fiction. Right. This isn’t getting us anywhere. Time for some Google Fu. Puck, you do Canada-

PUCK

(enthusiastic) Yes!

LOU

-Tammi, Australia, and I’ll take England.

(EVERYONE gets out their phones, and in the exchange below vary between mumbling almost to themselves as they read, and speaking louder to the others)

TAMMI

Um… 

 PUCK

All right… (silently types on phone, mumbles in Dutch) Even kijken wat moest ik hebben… University of Sas- Sas- (in Dutch) Hoe spel je dat?

LOU

Okidoki… 

PUCK

(paper rustle as they check spelling) How do you spell that? 

 LOU

(types on phone) University of Birmingham…

PUCK

Ah yeah, Saskatchewan… Um-hm… Yeah… (in Dutch) Dit kan ik overslaan… Dat is oke…

TAMMI

Adelaide…  22 000 students…

LOU

(in French) 28 000 etudiants… 

PUCK

(reads) “Join 25,700 students from 130 countries around the world.” That’s nice.

LOU

Study… “challenging enquiring minds” yeah all right… 

PUCK

Right. (mutters, in Dutch) Waar moet ik zien? Zijn naam kan geen schone zijn… Wat is de lay-out…

LOU

Undergraduate study… (mutters, in French) Où est-ce que c’est ca…

PUCK

(mutters) Undergraduate programs… Environment and Health Sciences… Archaeology…

TAMMI

Um…

PUCK

 (to TAMMI) Hm, they have Palaeobiology too – is that different from Palaeontology?

TAMMI

(distracted) Guess I didn’t see that. And, I don’t know.

PUCK

There’s a picture of a dinosaur skeleton here, so at a guess not too different. Um. But that’s not what I need….

LOU

Cherchez… OOOOO-kay (types) ‘Geology’ – can’t spell the other one…

TAMMI

…Study at Adelaide… Undergraduate… Find… (types) Palaeon- damn, I can’t spell it either! (paper rustles as she checks) 

LOU

Here we go, Palaeontology and Geology…

TAMMI

-tology…

PUCK

Here… Archeology.

TAMMI

“one of the most comprehensive palaeontology curricula in the world” 

PUCK

(reads) “focuses on the past peoples of western Canada and the broader Circumpolar North”… 

TAMMI

Hm. Sounds like work.

LOU

(reads) “rigorous training in palaeontology”… 

PUCK

“excavation of archaeological sites” Hey, this sounds pretty interesting!

LOU

Oh! “rich fossil collections” – you interested in fossils, Tammi?

TAMMI

Sure…. Oh! I remember this – very cool field trips! Kangaroo Island…

PUCK

It’s in Saskatoon, which is (clicks) right in the middle of Canada, sort of.

LOU

(laughs) That’s funny, ‘cause Birmingham is pretty much in the middle of England.

TAMMI

Well, Adelaide is vaguely in the middle of Australia in terms of east to west – though more east – but very much on the southern coast. 

PUCK

That means it’s not so hot, right, more temperate?

TAMMI

I guess.

PUCK

Saskatoon is pretty small, population about 250 000.

TAMMI

Adelaide is big – population’s way over a million, 1.2.

LOU

Yeah, Birmingham is around there, too. 1.1. (beat) So. Tammi. Any of this helpful?

TAMMI

Gah. Hearing all this they all seem like so much… work.

PUCK

Should have applied for something easier.

TAMMI

Like what? University seems like a depressing amount of work no matter what you study.

LOU

You have a point. And at least you are interested in these subjects.

TAMMI

(smiles) Or I was when I applied. But am sure I could be again.

PUCK

So *now* let’s look up the important facts – do they have active RPG groups or clubs? What forums are there for players to find groups?

TAMMI

Ooooh, yes! Now we’re talking!

LOU

OK, let’s check that out too!

(Everyone is back on their phones, some phone handling, mumbling)

TAMMI

(reads) Adelaide Uni RPG Club…

PUCK

(reads) Saskatoon Game Store… Looking for RPG groups…

LOU

(reads) Role Players Guild Birmingham… 

TAMMI

(reads) Adelaide Roleplaying Community… 

LOU

(reads) RPG groups in Birmingham…

TAMMI

(reads) Games World South Australia…

PUCK

(reads) Saskatoon RPG Discord…

LOU

(reads) UK Games Expo Birmingham…

PUCK

(reads) Saskatoon International RPG Day…

PUCK

(same time as TAMMI and LOU) There’s a lot!

LOU

(same time as TAMMI and PUCK) Very cool!

TAMMI

(same time as PUCK and LOU) This is great!

(ALL laugh)

LOU

Seems they’re all pretty good.

TAMMI

Yeah.

PUCK

Hey. We are doing this all wrong. We’re role players, yes?

LOU

Your point being?

PUCK

Dice!

TAMMI

Dice? (realizes) Diiiice. Right. (laughs)

LOU

(laughs) Of course. Ready to roll, Tammi?

TAMMI

Um… Oh why not. But you cannot tell anyone. Deal?

PUCK and LOU

Deal!

TAMMI

(gets out her dice bag) What do you think? D6?

PUCK

D20. Classic. Wait, no, needs to be divisible with 3 – D12?

TAMMI

Yeah that works. (gets out die)

LOU

OK. Give me that napkin. (TAMMI hands over napkin, LOU grabs pen, clicks it, and writes) So, 1-4 – Adelaide, 5-8 – Birmingham and 9-12 – Saskatoon.

PUCK

May the odds be ever in your favor.

TAMMI

(laughs) Thank you. (deep breath, rolls die on table) Seven. What was-

LOU

Birmingham!

TAMMI

Birmingham. (beat) Yeah. OK. (grabs die and slowly puts it back in dice bag)

LOU

Congratulations?

TAMMI

(slight laugh) Thank you. (beat, a little surprised) Feels really good.

LOU

We can visit you and go to the UK Games Expo!

TAMMI

(smiles) Brilliant.

PUCK

OK, my turn.

LOU

So what *are* your choices, Puck?

PUCK

Just the two. Architecture in Amsterdam or Architecture in the US. Cornell.

TAMMI

(surprised) Architecture?

PUCK

Yeah. Think so. I like floorplans.

LOU

I’m more surprised about Cornell – that’s a big deal, right?

PUCK

It kind of is. My parents practically threw a party when they found out. But Amsterdam’s really good too.

TAMMI

Right. So either in Dutch or in English then?

PUCK

Yes.

LOU

Shall we google?

PUCK

(takes out dice bag, picks out die) Nope. I’m ready to roll.

LOU

All right. Go for it.

PUCK

D20. My lucky die. (deep breath) Even is Ithaca, odd is Amsterdam.

TAMMI

(grabs napkin, writes as PUCK talks) Yep. Written down.

PUCK

All right. (rolls on table, astonished laugh) Seven for me too.

LOU

(smiles) Lucky number seven maybe? So, Amsterdam.

PUCK

Yeah.

TAMMI

You happy with that?

PUCK

(thinks) I think so… Yes. Huh. Back to the Netherlands. Cool.

TAMMI

Good. Can we now *please* get back to planning the new campaign?

LOU

Of course.

PUCK

Cheers. To Birmingham and Amsterdam! Hey that kind of rhymes!

TAMMI and LOU

(laugh) Birmingham and Amsterdam! (glasses clink)

LOU

And Paris. (jokingly dramatic) We’ll always have Paris.

(TAMMI and PUCK groan)

LOU

Well *someone* had to say it!

(ALL laugh)

(Fade out)

Scene 7.3

(INT. Tammi’s bedroom, she is asleep. Quick footsteps outside room, door opens, HEATHER enters)

HEATHER

(cheerful) Rise and shine, Tammi! (opens blind)

TAMMI

(sleepy and angry) What?

HEATHER

Today’s the day!

TAMMI

(sleepy and confused) What day?

HEATHER

(sits down on the side of TAMMI’s bed) The day *you* send in your acceptance to university.  What did you end up deciding yesterday?

TAMMI

(very sleepy) Um… eh… Birmingham, I think?

HEATHER

Great! (a little stern) Get that in today, all right?

TAMMI

(very sleepy) All right. (beat) Does this mean I can sleep in tomorrow?

HEATHER

(smiles) Talk to your dad – I’m flying to Tokyo in two hours. Back Thursday.

TAMMI

OK. (beat) Mmmm. That means he’ll be stress-baking for days.

HEATHER

Yep. Make sure to hide away some cinnamon buns for me, all right?

TAMMI

Will do.

HEATHER

Thanks. Maybe invite Puck and Lou over for (in Swedish) fika?

TAMMI

Absolutely.

HEATHER

(quick forehead kiss) Take care, sweetheart, time for me to go. (gets up) See you Thursday. (calls on her way out) Love you! (grabs wheeled suitcase, apartment front door opens and closes, distant footsteps fading out)

TAMMI

(calls) Love you Mom! (yawns, sits up, pulls on sweatpants, few steps over to desk, sits down, opens laptop) OK… Better get this over with. (clicks, typing, mutters) Sign in…  (click) Your choice… Reply to your offers… Firm choice… Continue… (click) Yes… Send your reply… (click, reads) ‘You have confirmed your place at the University of Birmingham’ (deep breath) OK. (smiles) Hello, Birmingham, I guess… (smiles) Huh. Rocks and dinosaurs. Well, why not.

MAGNUS

(calls, distant) Tammi? I’ve made some brioche, you want one now or later?

TAMMI

(laughs, calls) Now please! I’ll be right there!

(Shuts laptop, gets up, walks out of room)

(Fade out)

Scene 7.4

NARRATOR

Thank you for listening to Y2K: Take 2. This episode was written, produced and directed by Karin Heimdahl. Our intro and outro music is created and recorded by Jake Haws, listen to his podcast “Making Music with Jake Haws” to hear more. This episode featured Anna Jartin as Tammi, Jackie Hedeman as Heather, Björn Heimdahl as Tammi’s dad Magnus, Reguline Pear as Puck and Elissa Park as Lou. The drama school director was Sarah Golding, and the narrator Emma Laslett. For more information, please go to Y2Kpod.com or find us on social media @Y2Kpod If you enjoy the show, please consider supporting us on Patreon.com/Y2Kpod Please join us again next month when we meet Claire in 2006.

DIRECTOR

(claps hands) All right, thank you everyone. That’s a wrap for today!

(MUSIC “Welcome to the Year 2000” – instrumental)