Transcripts

Here you can find transcripts for all released episodes of Y2K. Unreleased episodes are also listed below, transcript will be posted as episode is realeased.

Episodes

PROLOGUE: DECEMBER 31, 1999
EPISODE 1: JANUARY 1-9, 2000
EPISODE 2: JANUARY 10-16, 2000
EPISODE 3: JANUARY 17-23, 2000
EPISODE 4: JANUARY 24-31, 2000
EPISODE 5: FEBRUARY 1-6, 2000
EPISODE 6: FEBRUARY 7-13, 2000
EPISODE 7: FEBRUARY 14-20, 2000
EPISODE 8: FEBRUARY 21-29, 2000
EPISODE 9: MARCH 1-5, 2000
EPISODE 10: MARCH 6-12, 2000
EPISODE 11: MARCH 13-19, 2000
EPISODE 12: MARCH 20-26, 2000
EPISODE 13: MARCH 27-31, 2000
EPISODE 14: APRIL 1-9, 2000
EPISODE 15: APRIL 10-16, 2000
EPISODE 16: APRIL 17-23, 2000
EPISODE 17: APRIL 24-30, 2000
EPISODE 18: MAY 1-7, 2000
EPISODE 19: MAY 8-14, 2000
EPISODE 20: MAY 15-21, 2000
EPISODE 21: MAY 22-31, 2000
EPISODE 22: JUNE 1-4, 2000
EPISODE 23: JUNE 5-11, 2000
EPISODE 24: JUNE 12-18, 2000
EPISODE 25: JUNE 19-25, 2000
EPISODE 26: JUNE 26-30, 2000
EPISODE 27: JULY 1-9, 2000
EPISODE 28: JULY 10-16, 2000
EPISODE 29: JULY 17-23, 2000
EPISODE 30: JULY 24-31, 2000
EPISODE 31: AUGUST 1-6, 2000
EPISODE 32: AUGUST 7-13, 2000
EPISODE 33: AUGUST 14-20, 2000
EPISODE 34: INTERLUDE – AUGUST 27, 2000
EPISODE 35: AUGUST 28-31, 2000
EPISODE 36: SEPTEMBER 1-10, 2000
EPISODE 37: SEPTEMBER 11-17, 2000
EPISODE 38: SEPTEMBER 18-24, 2000
EPISODE 39: SEPTEMBER 25-30, 2000
EPISODE 40: OCTOBER 1-8, 2000
EPISODE 41: OCTOBER 9-15, 2000
EPISODE 42: OCTOBER 16-22, 2000
EPISODE 43: OCTOBER 23-31, 2000
EPISODE 44: NOVEMBER 1-5, 2000
EPISODE 45: NOVEMBER 6-12, 2000
EPISODE 46: NOVEMBER 13-19, 2000
EPISODE 47: NOVEMBER 20-26, 2000
EPISODE 48: NOVEMBER 27-30, 2000
EPISODE 49: DECEMBER 1-10, 2000
EPISODE 50: DECEMBER 11-17, 2000
EPISODE 51: DECEMBER 18-24, 2000
EPISODE 52: DECEMBER 25-31, 2000
EPILOGUE: DECEMBER 31, 2000

Patreon Bonus Episodes

Please note that these bonus episodes are Patreon-exclusive. Therefore, transcripts for bonus episodes are password protected. If you are a Patreon supporter and have forgotten your password, please DM us on Patreon and we will be happy to sort it out. Thank you so much for your support.
BONUS EPISODE 1
BONUS EPISODE 2
BONUS EPISODE 3
BONUS EPISODE 4

Behind-the-Scenes Episodes

Please note that transcripts for these episodes may take longer than others, as they are not scripted. We will try our best to get them to you as close to release date as possible.
BEHIND THE SCENES 1
BEHIND THE SCENES 2
BEHIND THE SCENES 3
BEHIND THE SCENES 4
BEHIND THE SCENES 5
BEHIND THE SCENES 6

PROLOGUE: DECEMBER 31, 1999

(INTRO MUSIC)

Scene 0.1

(New Year’s Eve 1999. A flat in north London. A crowded party. Everyone is very drunk. Door opens. JESS and KAT sneak into a room, JESS wants to show KAT something on the computer. Giggling. Party noises.)

JESS

Come on! Close the door!

(door shuts, party noises abate)

KAT (giggles)

What? I wanna party like it’s 1999! (tries to sing the Prince song but can’t remember the words)

(JESS sits down, computer clicks, modem dial-up tone)

JESS

(distracted) Well it won’t be 1999 for much longer… (mutters) Where is that link?

KAT

I think Johnno wants to *kiss* me. (makes kissy noises) He keeps staring at me. He’s ok I guess…

JESS

I want to show you what I found yesterday. (computer clicks) Look!

KAT

What? It’s just loading… charging… wait what’s it called?

JESS

Remember I’m leaving tomorrow? And that phone calls to New Zealand are expensive? Not to mention the time difference thing? (computer dings) Well, ta-da!

KAT

Ta-what? (sits down) Wait, (reads) Free Online Voicemail – the easy way to stay in touch… Catchy slogan (more serious, slightly more sober) You mean we can leave each other voice mails? For free??

JESS

Yup! I just need to figure out how to get internet once I’m in Auckland, and then we’re all set! Of course the dial-up connection costs a little, but —

KAT

(interrupts) That’s perfect! (suddenly sad) But I will miss you. So much.

JESS

I’ll miss you too my dear. Damn! We said no tears and I’m sticking to it! (beat) Look, I’ve set you up as KatLondon and me as JessAuckland, so we can find each other.

KAT

Damn! (holds back tears) I mean, that’s great. And I *am* happy for you. It’s just — (tries to be cheerful) what if some serious accounting person moves into your room and just kills all the fun?

JESS

And paints my walls cafe au lait? Yuck!

BOTH

And makes stinky tuna in the microwave! (laughter)

JESS

Oh God, he was awful, wasn’t he? What was his name? Lou? Lenny?

KAT

Lee. (starts saying something but stops herself) Actually I- Yes, good thing he moved out. (laughs)

JESS

You do know that you’ll have a say on the next flatmate, right?

KAT

I know. But I might get outvoted… Downvoted? You know what I mean.

JESS

I wouldn’t worry about it. (beat) Anyways, what were you saying about Johnno before? That he was looking at you?

KAT

Yeah. I mean, he’s nothing special really but with the luck I’ve been having… You know. It’s nice to be noticed.

JESS

Yeah. It’s just I’ve heard he’s not so nice to his girlfriends.

KAT

(laughing) I’m not going to be his girlfriend (laughs) so, no worries, OK?

JESS

Right. No worries. Wait, do they even say that in New Zealand or is it just Australia? Guess we’ll find out–

(door opens, party noise, fireworks)

JOHNNO

Kat! C’mon! It’s almost midnight!

KAT

Be there in a sec Johnno!

(door closes, party noises abate)

KAT

Maybe I’ll go out and grab that New Year’s kiss. (beat) Don’t worry, ok? It’ll be great.

JESS

OK. Let’s bring in the new year. (toast) Hey, maybe the world *will* end?

KAT

Nah! It’ll be fine. The year 2000 is going to be amazing!

JESS

Let’s go drink to that!

(They laugh. Door opens, party noise. Fireworks! Explosions!)

(OUTRO MUSIC)

Scene 0.2

KARIN

Hi! Karin Heimdahl, creator of Y2K and also voice of Jess here. Thank you so much for listening to our prologue. Episode 1 drops in January and we will have weekly releases throughout 2020. You will hear these wonderful folks:

(MUSIC)

KIRSTY

Kirsty Woolven as Olivia

JANIS

Janis Westin as Kat

KARIN

Karin Heimdahl as Jess

ADAM

Adam Blanford as Johnno

FELICITY

Felicity Boyd as Rachel

ANJALI

Anjali Kunapaneni as Shirin

SHEKENDRA

Shekendra Morgan as Maia

MADDY

Maddy Searle as Claire

ANNA

Anna Jartin as Tammi

LORCAN

Lorcan NicGiollaBhain as Bri

CHARLOTTE

Charlotte Norup as Kirsten

NERYS

Nerys Howell as Emma

KARIN

You can subscribe for free right now in your favorite podcatcher. Please find us on Twitter or Instagram @y2kpod, that’s the number 2, and check out our website y2kpod.com for more information. This episode was part of International Podcast Month 2019. Please go to to internationalpodcastmonth.com to find out more about this wonderful celebration of podcasting. We will be back in January. For now, we leave you with the full song “Welcome to the Year 2000!” by Jake Haws, please check out his podcast “Making Music with Jake Haws” to hear more of his work.

OLIVIA

Thank you for listening, and welcome back when we return to the year 2000.

MANY VOICES

Welcome to the year 2000!… Welcome… Welcome… to the year 2000… to the year 2000… to the year 2000! Welcome to the year 2000!

(OUTRO MUSIC – Welcome to the Year 2000!)

EPISODE 1: JANUARY 1-9, 2000

(Intro music)

Scene 1.1

OLIVIA

Hey, um, I’m Olivia and this is the Y2K podcast! I’m a little nervous, I’ve never done anything like this before. But I guess I should tell you what this is all about… So a few days ago I managed to get my Mum’s old laptop working. I was hoping to find baby pictures of me, there are hardly any and I was just, well, curious. I rummaged around this really old black-and-white dodgy-looking interface and found — absolutely no baby pictures. No pictures at all actually. But I did find something el se. These old audio files, dozens of them, all labeled with dates from January 2000 onwards. It seems to be a conversation in voicemails between my Mum and a friend of hers, and I’ve only listened to a couple of them but they seem… interesting somehow. Though it’s weird to hear Mum so young – I’ll be 20 this year and she would have been about… 25 when this was recorded. Almost the same age. Cool. But so strange. Right I’m rambling. I thought this would make an interesting podcast. So… Here are the first two messages.

Scene 1.2

(Modem dial-up tone) (click)

(library ambience)

JESS

(whispering) Hi Kat! I’m here! And *so* jetlagged. New Zealand sure is a long way away. Sorry about the whispering, I’m at the library computer as I’m still staying in the hostel. Been calling ads for rooms to rent and think I have a few good leads. (muffled footsteps receding, speaks slightly louder) Right, the librarian is out of earshot so I can talk a little louder. Where was I? Yeah. Housing. Auckland is beautiful, it’s summer here and still warm. Flowers everywhere. Really messes with your mind after London winter. One thing I really didn’t grasp before I got here was how incredibly hilly Auckland is – on the map the hostel and the university seem really close together, but in reality there’s an incredibly steep hill between them! Downhill in the morning, thankfully, I couldn’t have coped with the other way around. Anyways, I guess that’ll be an important factor in deciding where to live – whether it’s uphill or downhill from school! Though – come to think of it – I guess I’m not going to be able to afford walking distance so maybe it doesn’t matter. I haven’t quite figured out the buses yet, but they seem  fairly straightforward. The flight was very long but uneventful. I got a little sleep on the first leg but on the flight to Auckland I got seated right behind the smoking seats and it was torture. I thought they’d banned smoking on airplanes. Ugh. Sorry. I know you’re a smoker, but you’re a considerate smoker (laughs). Remember that time –

RACHEL

Shh! This is a library you know.

JESS

Sorry! Almost done! (in lower voice) Let me know how you’re doing – what are you auditioning for? Any luck with the day-job-hunting? And are Shirin and Emma pestering you to let some annoying person have my room? Let me know! Love you! Bye!

(Clicks)

Scene 1.3

(Modem dial-up tone) (click)

KAT

Hello Jess! Great to hear your voice! Feels like you are much closer than the other end of the world… London is gray. Or at least Wood Green is gray. (Sighs) I miss you. Emma and Shirin are great but they’re not you. And I miss working with you – even that awful Cinderella disaster — I mean that lovely panto — we did at Christmas. I’ve been auditioning for everything I can find but it’s always the same. You know. They want some really specific British regional accent that I just can’t do. Or perfect RP for that matter. Or else it’s two lines unpaid in something and 300 girls auditioning. (deep sigh) Anyway. I just want to run home to Trollhättan and bury myself in my old bedroom at my mother’s house and eat cheese. (groans) Sorry to be so depressing. (beat) I did find a bartending job, though. You know it’s not my favourite thing but at least it pays the bills, and I really really need that. The only thing is… it’ll mean working for Lee. You know, microwave-tuna-Lee? Stop laughing! He’s OK, really. He gave me a job so I have to think he’s OK, right? It’s five nights a week and the pay is OK. I start tomorrow. Also… I’ve been thinking about Johnno since New Year’s. You know we had that drunken kiss at midnight and it just… hit me, you know? Definite spark. But maybe I’m just so starved in that department that anything will get me going. We will see. OK, what else… Emma and Shirin have called a flatmates’ meeting tomorrow, so I guess I’ll find out then who they have lined up to move in. I know, I know, I’m supposed to have a say but Shirin’s nan does own the flat and I’m just not as good at standing up to them without you. They’re off to the pub in a bit but I said no, I’m just too… something. Not depressed but just down, you know? I’m just going to sit here and… be depressed I guess. (beat) Hang on. You would tell me to go to the pub. In fact, you would drag me there and cheer me up. OK. (laughs) Stop pestering me! I will follow your silent advice. Be right back! (footsteps, door opens, muffled yell) Shirin! Emma! Are you still here?

SHIRIN

 (muffled) We’re in my room!

KAT

(muffled) Don’t leave without me!

SHIRIN

 (muffled) All right but you’d better get a move on, we’re almost ready!

KAT

(Muffled) OK! (footsteps) Right, sorry Jess! Let me know how everything goes – what’s uni like? Did it start already? Are you meeting any nice people? I miss you! Bye! (clicks)

Scene 1.4

OLIVIA

Right, so that’s it for today. I hope you enjoyed it! I rather like hearing their voices from 20 years ago – before I was even born… Anyway. I’ll put these out weekly for as long as it’s fun I suppose. There are a LOT of these files, I haven’t counted them but I think they go until at least December. So, listeners, of which I as yet have none (laughs) did any of you know my mum or her friend around the year 2000? Do you know anything about the other people they mention? I’d like to get more of the story around these voicemails.  Please e-mail me at y2kpod@gmail.com, or find me on Twitter or Instagram @y2kpod, that’s the number two. Our wonderful music is created and recorded by Jake Haws, check out his podcast “Making Music with Jake Haws” to hear more. I guess I’ll put a link to that… somewhere. I’m still figuring out this podcasting thing. Right. (reads) Thank you for listening, and welcome back next week when we return to the year 2000.

(click like something’s turned off but it’s still recording) (lets out a sigh) (mumbles) Too cheesy? Maybe. They might wonder why I don’t just ask my mum but… Well they can wonder. (deep sigh) Hang on, that light’s still on. (click)

(OUTRO MUSIC)

EPISODE 2: JANUARY 10-16, 2000

(INTRO MUSIC)

Scene 2.1

OLIVIA

(reads) My name’s Olivia and this is the Y2K podcast – welcome to the year 2000! (beat) Yeah. Hey. That’s rather cheerful, isn’t it? Just trying to figure out how to open the podcast. Got any ideas? Answers on a postcard… Hang on, why do people say that? I think my parents say it, so I suppose it’s some old reference. They’re full of those. Anyway, e-mail me if you have any tips… I really don’t know what I’m doing. (laughs) So to recap I’ve found a bunch of files on my Mum’s old laptop, it’s 20-year-old voicemails between my Mum and a friend of hers, and I’m turning them into a podcast. And I’m calling it Y2K because that’s short for the year 2000, when the voicemails were recorded. Yeah. But you probably got that. (laughs) So. I’m back at uni and just had a Sedimentology lecture and it was all right I guess but I was just so tired and unfocused that I couldn’t really grasp what they were saying. Like the information just didn’t reach my brain. (sighs) Sorry. So last week (slight hesitation) Jess had just arrived in Auckland and was whispering in a library, while (slight hesitation) Kat was feeling blue back in London. And here is the second round of audio files from January 2000. They seem to be in completely opposite moods here.

Scene 2.2

(Modem dial-up tone) (click)

KAT

Jess! Oh I wish I could talk to you directly! Right now! I feel so great! (hums, speaks text) Livin’ La vida Loca… I’m living the ‘loca’ life over here! So, Johnno came to the pub Tuesday night, and he was… He was really cool. It was pretty quiet at the start of the night, and he just ordered a pint and sat there and talked to me when I wasn’t busy. And he’s really smart, you know, I never realized that. We talked about books and politics and theatre – of course we talked about theatre! And music – he’s a huge music nerd and listens to all sorts of stuff I’ve never heard of. We also ended up talking about TV shows, and of course I had to check – and he IS a Buffy fan – maybe even more so than I am! AND he has the first half of season 4 on video and so OF COURSE I invited myself over to watch it. Clever me, huh? So last night I went to his place – he lives in Chalk Farm and he has his own apartment! Haven’t quite figured out how he can afford that… He’s a musician. At least I think so? Yes, he’s in that band, you know? Plays bass? We did NOT talk about our jobs. OK, anyway, we did watch Buffy, like two episodes, you know ‘The Freshman’, and that one with the horrible room-mate – Kathy! – remember how angry we were with her? Anyway, Johnno and I kind of lost interest in TV somewhere around there and… Well it was seriously the best sex I’ve ever had, which is strange, right? But also absolutely amazing. And it wasn’t just sex, we talked. And got hardly any sleep… (serious) I know you’ve heard things about him. But it can’t be right. He’s lovely. And, you know, it’s only been one night – maybe he doesn’t want it to be anything more. Maybe *I* won’t want it to be more. We haven’t promised each other anything. So, no worries, ok?

(00s text noise) Oh! (pause) It’s him. (smiles) He wants to see me tonight! There’s a gig in Brixton – some band I’ve never heard of, but who cares! I have to figure out what to wear. Cross your fingers there’s more amazing sex tonight! (laughs) Love you – bye!

(clicks)

Scene 2.3

(Modem dial-up tone) (click)

KAT

Sorry! I mean, let me know what’s up with you – met anyone nice at university? And how is it anyway – it started this week, right? OK, really really wish you were here! Bye again!

(clicks)

Scene 2.4

(Modem dial-up tone) (click)

(library ambience)

JESS

Hi Kat. I’m happy you’re so happy. It makes me feel better too. And maybe you’re right about Johnno, maybe it’s all just rumours. But, please, be careful? Have as much sex as you like, but guard your emotions a little. (laughs) I feel like someone in an Austen novel saying that, though of course Lizzie never told Jane to have as much sex as she liked! Maybe she should have, huh? Anyways, remember you’re in that lust-fog now where you feel like you’re in love just because the sex is so good? Don’t trust that feeling! Wait ’til the fog lifts and then figure out what you want to do. All right? And of course congratulations on best sex ever – that’s great. (smiles) No, I’m not jealous. Or bitter. Lonely. Ugh. My dear I’m so happy for you, I’m just having a hard time. Moving to a new country – again – is just exhausting. I did all this when I moved to London five years ago, and it was mostly fun, you know, figuring out where the post office was and what milk to buy and how to get bus passes. I was so happy to be there – and so happy to NOT be in Edmonton – that it didn’t register as a chore. But now, I’m… kind of wondering if I did the right thing coming here. Maybe I didn’t think it through properly. I was just so happy to be accepted, and get the scholarship and everything, and — I was still reeling from the break-up. You know. I do want to do this, and I am sure I will learn a lot, but it’s just so hard. (verge of tears) Damn! I can’t cry in the library! (sniffles, pulls herself together) Yep, still in the library. I move into the new place on Friday. It seems good, the new flatmates are Maia and Tia, and they seem nice enough, just a little stand-offish you know? Like they’re happy to share a flat but don’t really want to hang out. Which is fine, of course, just — And on top of that I’ve now completed two whole days of the *Master of Creative Writing* and talked to exactly no-one apart from the registration person yesterday. (lowers voice) I thought Kiwis were supposed to be friendly, but so far, nope. (normal volume) I know, I know. Give it time. It will get easier. And I can’t give up after two days – I moved all the way to the other end of the world to do this after all. All that ocean between us. That’s actually wonderful here in Auckland – the sea is never far away, and some places are so incredibly beautiful I can hardly believe it. (footsteps approaching, whispers) Crap! Here’s the librarian! 

RACHEL

(kindly) You do need to keep it down you know.

JESS

Sorry! Again! I’ll be done in a sec–

RACHEL

What is that anyway, why are you talking to the computer?

JESS

It’s… I just moved here, so my friend and I are doing internet voicemails. To keep in touch. Phone calls to England are really expensive, and —

RACHEL (interrupts)

How clever! Sorry —

JESS (interrupts)

No, I’m sorry —

(They laugh)

JESS

Go ahead.

RACHEL

I forgot what — Oh! Just how clever, to do voice mails on the computer. I’ve never heard of that.

JESS

Yeah, it’s new I think. Pretty handy. (beat) I’m Jess, by the way.

RACHEL

Rachel. Good to meet you. (smiles) So you just moved here? You a student?

JESS

Yep. Creative Writing. Just started, so can’t really tell you anything about it.

RACHEL

(laughs) All right, I won’t ask. Yet anyway. Where are you staying?

JESS

At the hostel down the street right now, but I’m moving into a flatshare in Newmarket this Friday.

RACHEL

Newmarket’s nice, I hope you’ll enjoy — Oh! There’s someone waiting at the desk, I’d better go. Finish this quickly, right?

JESS

All right, thanks! (pause, footsteps retreating) Did you catch all that Kat? I actually talked to someone! And they were nice! I’ll try to take it as a positive sign. There are nice people here – maybe not kindred spirits like you… and Anne Shirley and Diana Barry (laughs) I’m all literary today, maybe some of the creative writing atmosphere is rubbing off on me after all. (laughs) Not that anyone’s mentioned Montgomery yet – or Austen for that matter. (laughs) The professors seem quite good actually. Though lots of work and super fast paced. We will see. So, my kindred spirit, take care of yourself, and don’t jump into anything too fast, right? Sending you hugs across all the oceans – oceans of hugs!  (laughs) Let me know how everything goes with Johnno, of course, and everything else. Love you!

(clicks)

Scene 2.5

OLIVIA

Right. That’s – (stops herself) I’m glad she seemed happier toward the end there. But – (shudders) — all that sex talk. Do NOT wish to hear my Mum or her friends on that topic. It’s… just odd. I know they’re around 25 here and sex talk in your 20s is to be expected, but still. I don’t have to like it… Anyway. I’m still wondering if any of you knew my mum or her friend around the year 2000? Or maybe you know anything about the other people they hang out with? I’d like to get more of the story around these voice mails.  (reads, still a little uncertain) Please e-mail me at y2kpod@gmail.com, find me on Twitter or Instagram @y2kpod, that’s the number two. Our wonderful music is created and recorded by Jake Haws, check out his podcast “Making Music with Jake Haws” to hear more. (comments aside from text) I’m doing episode descriptions now, so the link is there. This is Olivia, signing off. (reads, still a little uncertain) Thank you for listening, and welcome back next week when we return to the year 2000.

(OUTRO MUSIC)

EPISODE 3: JANUARY 17-23, 2000

(INTRO MUSIC)

Scene 3.1

OLIVIA

(full of energy) Hey, this is Olivia and the Y2K podcast – once again I welcome you to the year 2000! But not quite yet (laughs) Today I’ve spent all day outdoors and it was very cold but so so beautiful. (laughs) Most of you probably wouldn’t enjoy looking at rocks for a whole day — outdoors — in January — in England, (laughs) but it really is my idea of bliss. Anyway. Happy you are coming with me on this peculiar trip into the past… Last week Kat was all aglow with lust and excitement and Jess was stressed out and met a librarian. And we’re now at the point where I haven’t actually listened to the voice mails in advance – I thought it would be cool if I listened along with you. So I have no idea what they’re talking about this week. Exciting, right? Let’s do it!

Scene 3.2

(Modem dial-up tone) (click)

JESS

Hi there Kat. Sooo… (sighs) I got a text from Claire saying she’s moving into my old room on Saturday. It’s fine. I’m fine. I guess she just wanted me to hear it from her, which is nice of her. But – I would really have preferred hearing it from you. I know, I know, you have a lot on your mind right now, walking on cloud 9 and all that (smiles) but, you know, it hurts. Damn! Claire and I spent a lot of time in that room when we were together, and it’s… painful… to think of her in there with her new girlfriend. Rose, she’s Rose. And not all that new anymore. (deep breath) And to think of them hanging out with all of you. Also it’s like Shirin and Emma have picked sides now – I thought they were more my friends than Claire’s and I talked so much to them, especially Shirin, you know,     after the break-up. Not as much as I talked to you, but, you know. And of course I get that you were steam-rolled into this, and it’s not your fault, I just – I just wish you had told me. Just –

(knock on door)

JESS

Yes?

(door opens)

MAIA

Hey, Jess, I’m out of milk, can I take some of yours?

JESS

Sure, go ahead.

MAIA

Hold on, are you all right?

JESS

Yes.

MAIA

No you’re not. What happened?

JESS

(strained laugh) You don’t want to hear my troubles. I’m fine. Or I will be.

MAIA

(sits down) Sure I want to hear your troubles. We don’t really know each other yet but I can’t let you be this miserable all on your own.

JESS

Right. Thanks. It’s – I just found out that my ex is moving into my old flatshare. Into my room. I lived there for almost four years and we spent a lot of time there together. And I – it’s just hard. It hurts! (starts crying)

MAIA

Oh, I’m so   sorry, that’s really rough. (pats Jess on arm) All right, cry if you need to. (pause, JESS cries, MAIA makes comforting noises) Was it recent? The break-up I mean?

JESS

Um… Four months ago?

MAIA

So it’s still quite fresh then. And raw. Did he treat you ok?

JESS

She. Claire. (surprised reaction from MAIA) Yes. And no. She was pretty decent about the actual breaking up with me – as decent as you can be I guess. But… we were supposed to be exclusive and I found out later she’d been cheating on me for at least a year. (near tears) With Rose, who became Claire’s new girlfriend three days after she broke up with me. So that was fun.

MAIA

That’s horrible. And now she’s moving into your old flat?

JESS

Yup. With my old flatmates. It – it feels like they’re choosing sides. Betraying me. (starts crying again) Re- Rep  lacing me.

MAIA

I’m so sorry. (pause, Jess cries) But they’re not replacing you, you know. If they are your friends they will stay your friends. Even if they are friends with… Claire, too.

JESS

(collects herself, deep breath) I know. (beat) You’re right.

MAIA

And you know, they say it takes at least a year to fully recover from a break-up. So maybe give yourself some time?

JESS

Yeah. (pause) Thanks for listening, Maia.

MAIA

(smiles) Anytime.

JESS

(beat) Hey Maia – how come you ended up in Auckland? You’re American, right?

MAIA   

I am. Lived here since I was 15, so almost an honorary Kiwi at this point. (smiles) My parents moved here for work, my Mom has relatives here. (beat) You going to be all right?

JESS

(shaky smile) I will be.

MAIA

Good. (gets up, stops at door) And hey, Jess?

JESS

Yeah?

MAIA

I’m glad you’re our new flatmate. (beat) Also, I guess Tia and I can stop pretending we sleep in separate rooms now.

JESS

Why– Oh! Right. Yes, you can definitely do that. (laughs) Why would you pretend you weren’t a couple?

MAIA

Homophobes.

JESS

(almost at the same time) Of course, sorry.

MAIA

They’re everywhere, and we really needed a new flatmate to make rent, and soon! So we decided to keep it quiet so we could suss you out a little. (catches herself) Sorry! Didn’t mean to flaunt my happy couplehood in the middle of your ex-crisis.

JESS

That’s ok. Gives me hope, I guess. That there *are* happy couples out there (smiles).

MAIA

OK. Good. I’m going to go text Tia to let her know we are officially outed. You sure you’re going to be all right?

JESS

Yes. Thanks. Don’t forget your milk.

MAIA

Thanks, Jess!

(door closes)

JESS

(back to computer) Hi again Kat. I seem to keep recording conversations with people for you. I- I feel better now. And I feel petty. I know you and Shirin and Emma can be friends with Claire AND me. It’s just — she hurt me so much and I guess I want her to be punished. And being denied your friendship would be a real punishment. Anyways. I’m rambling. As you could tell I’m in the flat now, and I guess I just figured out why Maia and Tia were a little stand-offish (laughs) Maia is so kind. This will be a good place to live. School is still a real challenge both socially and — increasingly — academically. They are so many books to read! So many writing assignments! But at least I’m not bored (smiles). So tell me what’s up with you – still on cloud 9? I miss you. And I love you. Sorry for being a petty grump. Sending oceans of hugs!

(clicks)

Scene 3.3

(Modem dial-up tone) (click)

KAT

Oh, Jess! I am so sorry! I forgot! I can’t believe I forgot. I’m an idiot. A bad friend. Shit. (deep sigh) I just feel horrible. I really tried to persuade Emma and Shirin to pick someone else, but — majority vote. I know Claire treated you like shit and I won’t be her friend, I promise! I’ll punish her with my non-friendship, so there! (rueful laugh) And you are not a petty grump. You are right. I should have told you. I meant to. But then I started this thing with Johnno and everything else just flew out of my mind I guess. (exasperated sound) I broke the friendship code! Sorry! Sorry sorry sorry! Shit. Hang on. (opens window, lights cigarette, blows out smoke) Smoking calms me down, you know. Johnno doesn’t like it, though, he says — Sorry. Never mind what he says. (inhales) Your new flatmate seems really nice. I’m glad you’ve moved in and that you have started to make yourself at home. I’m a little worried about your workload, though – remember final production at drama school when it got to be too much and you were just frantic and then you kept having panic attacks? Do not let it go that far. Ever again, please. OK? (inhales) Maybe I should recruit that nice flatmate of yours to keep an eye on you, huh? Don’t think I won’t! (Puts out cigarette, closes window) If there are no interesting people at uni maybe you should go back and talk to that librarian, she seemed nice. I miss you! I love you! And oceans of hugs – that’s perfect!

(clicks)

Scene 3.4

OLIVIA

(preoccupied) All right. That was pretty emotional. You know, I thought there would be only my Mum and her friend on these files, but other people seem to creep in as well. I haven’t decided yet if I like that or not. Will let you know. (beat) Anyway, I’ve gotten some e-mails. So I know at least four people are listening! (laughs) They were all about the same thing — which of the two friends is my Mum. A very reasonable question, really. But… I won’t tell you. Sorry about that. I’m not using any last names anywhere, and I want to respect my family’s privacy. I guess there could come a time when something in the recordings reveal some details, but I will deal with that when it comes. So you can speculate all you like but I will say nothing. I’ll just call them (very slight hesitation) Kat and (very slight hesitation) Jess. However I would still be interested to hear from you if you knew them around the year 2000? Or maybe if you know anything about the people around them? (reads, a little more confident) Please e-mail me at y2kpod@gmail.com, find me on Twitter or Instagram @y2kpod, that’s the number two. You can also check out our website at y2kpod.com – we have a website! Very exciting! Our beautiful music is created and recorded by Jake Haws, check out his podcast “Making Music with Jake Haws” to hear more. The link is in the episode description. I’m Olivia, thank you for listening, and welcome back next week when we return to the year 2000.

(OUTRO MUSIC)

EPISODE 4: JANUARY 24-31, 2000

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EPISODE 5: FEBRUARY 1-6, 2000

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EPISODE 6: FEBRUARY 7-13, 2000

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EPISODE 7: FEBRUARY 14-20, 2000

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EPISODE 8: FEBRUARY 21-29, 2000

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EPISODE 9: MARCH 1-5, 2000

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EPISODE 10: MARCH 6-12, 2000

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EPISODE 11: MARCH 13-19, 2000

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EPISODE 12: MARCH 20-26, 2000

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EPISODE 13: MARCH 27-31, 2000

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EPISODE 14: APRIL 1-9, 2000

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EPISODE 15: APRIL 10-16, 2000

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EPISODE 16: APRIL 17-23, 2000

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EPISODE 17: APRIL 24-30, 2000

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EPISODE 18: MAY 1-7, 2000

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EPISODE 19: MAY 8-14, 2000

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EPISODE 20: MAY 15-21, 2000

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EPISODE 21: MAY 22-31, 2000

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EPISODE 22: JUNE 1-4, 2000

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EPISODE 23: JUNE 5-11, 2000

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EPISODE 24: JUNE 12-18, 2000

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EPISODE 25: JUNE 19-25, 2000

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EPISODE 26: JUNE 26-30, 2000

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EPISODE 27: JULY 1-9, 2000

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EPISODE 28: JULY 10-16, 2000

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EPISODE 29: JULY 17-23, 2000

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EPISODE 30: JULY 24-31, 2000

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EPISODE 31: AUGUST 1-6, 2000

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EPISODE 32: AUGUST 7-13, 2000

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EPISODE 33: AUGUST 14-20, 2000

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EPISODE 34: INTERLUDE – AUGUST 27, 2000

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EPISODE 35: AUGUST 28-31, 2000

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EPISODE 36: SEPTEMBER 1-10, 2000

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EPISODE 37: SEPTEMBER 11-17, 2000

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EPISODE 38: SEPTEMBER 18-24, 2000

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EPISODE 39: SEPTEMBER 25-30, 2000

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EPISODE 40: OCTOBER 1-8, 2000

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EPISODE 41: OCTOBER 9-15, 2000

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EPISODE 42: OCTOBER 16-22, 2000

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EPISODE 43: OCTOBER 23-31, 2000

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EPISODE 44: NOVEMBER 1-5, 2000

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EPISODE 45: NOVEMBER 6-12, 2000

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EPISODE 46: NOVEMBER 13-19, 2000

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EPISODE 47: NOVEMBER 20-26, 2000

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EPISODE 48: NOVEMBER 27-30, 2000

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EPISODE 49: DECEMBER 1-10, 2000

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EPISODE 50: DECEMBER 11-17, 2000

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EPISODE 51: DECEMBER 18-24, 2000

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EPISODE 52: DECEMBER 25-31, 2000

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EPILOGUE: DECEMBER 31, 2000

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BEHIND THE SCENES 1

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BEHIND THE SCENES 2

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BEHIND THE SCENES 3

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BEHIND THE SCENES 4

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BEHIND THE SCENES 5

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BEHIND THE SCENES 6

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